


In His Arms I Must Stay

by simplykayley



Category: Turn (TV 2014)
Genre: Captivity, Capture, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, Enemies to Lovers, Espionage, F/M, Fighting, Historical, Historical Inaccuracy, Historical References, I Don't Even Know, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, Love/Hate, M/M, Most likely knowing myself, Period-Typical Homophobia, Please Don't Hate Me, Prisoner of War, Revolutionary War, Spies & Secret Agents, Stockholm Syndrome, they fall in love, well trying to trick each other basically.
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-08-22
Updated: 2018-07-26
Packaged: 2018-12-18 14:10:12
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 25
Words: 25,164
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11876175
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/simplykayley/pseuds/simplykayley
Summary: When Ben is taken captive by John André  himself he must do everything he can to stay alive but the longer he must stay in the man's grasp the longer the line that must never be crossed begins to fade.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> An AU where there is no Peggy/André, at least not seriously and Ben doesn't escape from Gamble when he is captured but is given over to André himself...

He woke suddenly with a start and gasped as he felt the pain in the back of his head. 

Everything from before he had been knocked unconscious slowly began to come back to him as he pulled on his wrists that were tied down to a bed. His mission... Gamble...his capture... He began to fight harder against the ties that bound him as he recalled everything. 

Footsteps creaked down the hallway and he cursed himself for making any noise to draw attention to himself. He stilled as the door creeks open ominously and he comes face to face with Simcoe dressed in his uniform. 

The sight of the lone man's face instantly caused him to begin fighting against the binds again with unwilling fear that spiked in his heart he as he saw Simcoe smile in amusement at his struggle. He snarls wickedly at him when he begins to walk closer towards the bed that held him prisoner. He was nothing but a trapped animal at this point and he knew it. Even if he still had the weapons hidden in his boots that he had placed there the day before there was no possible outcome where he would ever be free to be able to get to them. 

Simcoe stopped at this and stared down at him from the foot of the bed. "Where did all those well manners go, Major?" He asked condescendingly, blinking with wide eyes not dissimilar to a child, in what could pass as confusion to an unobservant soul. 

"Oh! Pardon me Major, how dull I must seem, I suppose being captured as a spy would do that to someone." 

He moved closer and pressed a finger to Ben's cheek even though he quickly tried to recoil as far away as possible with a face of pure disgust as if he would have been burnt by the other man's touch. He lifts it up to his face to examine with a disappointed click of his tongue and Ben saw the blood that must have come from a cut that he didn't notice on his face.

"I wanted to shoot you in your pretty little head as soon as I heard of your..." He stopped for a moment before meeting Ben's eyes with a grin. “Arrival. However, André said they would have some use of you. Although I don't see much more than a somewhat attractive face you of all people should know about the orders of a superior officer." He said with another click of his tongue and wiped his finger off onto his pants.

"Yes, something you should truly learn about." A voice that neither noticed call from the door and Ben strained his head to see the unfamiliar person before he quickly regretted his actions. 

John André was stared at him from the doorway with two raised eyebrows and an amused smirk on his lips. 


	2. 2.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Major André tries to bargain with Major Tallmadge.

Although he knew that there was little chance of any type of escape for him he still darted his eyes back and forth across the rather large room that he was in to try and search for any variety of one.

"Major Tallmadge." André said as a simple greeting as if they were familiar friends and his eyes flickered over to him for a moment as if waiting for him to speak his greeting. Ben couldn’t even make his mouth form the simplest of words. "I didn't think I'd ever had the pleasure of meeting you as you are such a slippery creature to capture for a meeting, so you must understand my delight when I heard of Lieutenant Gamble's report of your...arrival to Philadelphia." He said in false delight as he walked closer to the bed, shooting Simcoe a look of warning that he caught on his way. 

He tugged quickly on the binds around his wrist as the man got closer and André seemed to notice. 

"I don't remember hearing about the Major causing any damage on his way here so I do not see why he must be tied up like some common thief." He said and both Simcoe and Ben's eyes snapped up to him in surprise. 

"Sir, he is a known rebel spy and soldier. The only reason he is here is that he was caught off guard for just a moment. He would kill you without a thought to get back to his precious army, and Commander." Simcoe argued with the superior officer, spitting out the words as if they burn his tongue but André just raised his eyebrows before producing a knife from his side. 

"Nothing a locked door and a few guards can't help." André smiled and Ben watched in amazement as the binds tying him down were cut away. 

"I would appreciate if you could leave us, Captain." André said and both of the other men heard the command in his voice as he looked over his shoulder at the bloodthirsty Captain.

Their eyes locked for a few moments before Simcoe turned towards the door with a shake of his head. It was the own man's fault if his throat got cut by the spy. He would save his arguments for someone who was even superior to André and let them know what he thought of a man as foolish as André being Head of Intelligence. 

"Now, Major Tallmadge-" André started, turning towards the man on the bed when the door finally slammed shut. He barely caught the wrist that came at his throat with a small boot knife that no one had seemed to find on the Major. He smiled in amusement at the other man's tactics.

Ben fought against his tight grasp but found that he couldn't break away from the stronger man.

He cried out finally and dropped the weapon when André suddenly twisted his wrist hard enough to hear a crack and pop. He pulled his wrist up to his chest and glared up at the honorable man that was his enemy only because of a power-hungry King. That may be one of the few things he found regrettable about this war. Good men turning against each other. 

"I'll never talk." He spat, meeting kind, blue eyes with bright one aflame with anger. "Your armies occupation and oppression should be a crime. Leave my country, you bastards." He ranted to the dark haired man who just smiled sadly at him as if he was a child throwing a partially sad tantrum. 

"I've heard a lot about you." André started, ignoring Ben's statement as he sat at a desk in the corner of the room and turned around again to meet Ben's eyes from across the room, not getting too close. "Patriotic to the core, as I can tell, smart, proud, kind to the people you love." He said with an amused smile before frowning at Ben. "But none of that will matter when you are hanging as a treasonous spy. I can try and help you if you just talk to me. I may be able to save your life." He said and Ben tried to ignore the man in favor of looking through the window to try and get a general idea of where he could be in the city. 

"So are you just going to keep me captive here until you can find out what to do with me?" He asked finally, putting his feet on the ground as he turned in the bed to stand up. "Where am I even?" 

André stared into his eyes for a moment in a way that unnerved him before he must have decided that it wouldn't be much of a threat to tell Ben where he was being kept. It wasn't as if he could leave. 

"You are being held within my house, Major Tallmadge."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yay! I got a new chapter up! I hope you guys like it. I wasn't sure if anyone would go for it so I'm glad a few of you did. 
> 
> It's super hard to make sure that they don't sound too modern though but not too Shakespearean though. I literally had to look up words to make sure that they had been created by that time because I'm just that extra. 
> 
> Comment if you like and give me kudos if you can! 
> 
> Until next time!


	3. 3.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> He might be ensnared but his fight was far from over. He was in the literal heart of the beast after all.

John wasn't sure what he expected when he heard of Benjamin Tallmadge for the first time. He was almost certain it hadn't been this man standing in front of him though.

He looked like he was barely 25 years of age, much too young to be a Head of Intelligence for a Army in his opinion. He wasn't a ugly lad under the dirt, grime and blood on his worn face. His dirty blonde hair that was caked in mud and half way in a braid flew in front of his face to give him the look of a feral dog whenever he snapped his teeth at him in anger or whenever he glared at him with bright blue eyes that were extremely noticeable whenever he blinked through the dirty mess. The civilian clothes that he had been caught in by Gamble were now hanging off parts of his body where they had been ripped or torn from the journey to New York.

"Any information that you can provide, anything at all could help you. We were unsuccessful in finding anything on you while you were out." He tried to tell the boy and was barely surprised when his agitated eyes full of fire fixed on him again in a glare that could put the King to shame. It seemed that his attempts at assurance didn't calm the young man down at all but fired him up till he was all but shaking with rage at his offer of treason towards his General and country.

"I hope God damns you to hell, John André!" Tallmadge screamed at him so loudly he was sure the people walking on the street below could hear him. For the first he began to regret bringing the Major to his home in the middle of the city but he couldn't be offended by the young man. People with nooses hanging around their necks turned into the most feral of creatures. He just hadn't expected him to be such a...spirited young lad. At least not one with such a fight so deep within him.

"That's not the first time I've been told that, but I don't think I've ever heard it said with so much spirit." He said, amusement clear as day in his tone.

The Major, Benjamin, huffed and began to walk back and forth across the room in frustration. His eyes followed the boy as he went back and forth, playing the part of a trapped animal wonderfully. From stories he had been told he wouldn't put it past the man to jump out the window and run away back to his precious General given the chance.

"I would hope your visit would be one of brevity." Benjamin snapped at him finally and he took that as his cue to leave the man to himself for a bit, he was sure it would be what he wanted. To settle himself to his fate.

He stopped at the door before facing the man once again and bowing. "I know you must be in shock Major, so I shall leave you to yourself. I shall have food brought up to you soon for dinner. It has been a delight putting a face to a name." He said and Ben couldn't tell if he was teasing him before he disappeared through the door.

Ben couldn't help his snarl when he heard the lock of the door click in place.

×××

A quick look around the room told him that there was a fresh basin of water in the corner and a mirror so that he could presumably wash up. He knew he must look the proper part of a mess.

He walked over slowly as if at any moment a Redcoat would jump out and go at his neck with a knife. He cringed when he caught a glimpse of his dirty face in the mirror. He looked out of place in the large and beautiful room that André had locked him in, but he doesn't let that put him off as he runs his fingers through what's left of his braid before letting his blonde hair fall around his shoulders. He sighed and got to work on his image.

He leaves his tattered coat folded on a chair and dips a rag in the lukewarm water in the basin before wiping at his cheeks, watching as the blood, sweat and dirt clouded the water. He did this until he could see the bruise high on his cheek, or the cut on his forehead that had dried with blood. He looked more or less the same as the last time he had seen himself in a mirror but he knew this wasn't entirely true. A war, this war, changed a man on the inside at least.

He blinked owlishly at himself at the mirror and imagined that he could hear Simcoe and André talking of him downstairs, ways to break him down to get the information inside of his head out of him now that his fight was through.

He smiled at himself as if Caleb had just told him a terribly funny joke he remembered from his days on the sea.

His fight was far from over. A spy’s fight will never be over.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Pheww, Ben sure can put up a fight. I wanted him to at least show a little claw though before he had to take up the role of spy. His work is far from over though, I can tell you that much. ;)
> 
> Comment what you think, let me know your theories of what is going to go down or what you want to go down. I love hearing what you guys think. <3
> 
> Kudos are appreciated too. ;)


	4. 4.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ben beings to plot out his plan of survival.

He couldn't get to sleep the first night in the big room that he now occupied. He felt tense in a way that he hadn't been in months, no matter where he had been. He could almost feel the eyes of hundreds of British soldiers watching him through the walls, waiting for him to make a wrong move so they could shoot him. 

So he silently began to plot. 

He sat at the window and watched the dark street directly in front of his window and a terrible grief pulled at his heart and set into his bones as he began to think of some plan to try and get back to his friends and army that he loved. He already missed the rest of his men and Caleb with their stupid jokes and inappropriate discussions that always brought a blush to his cheek but he never truly appreciated until he was trapped all alone in the house of a British soldier who had no plans of letting him out of his grasps.

He shook away the thoughts that threatened to take over, there wasn't any time for them now. There was nothing that he could do at the moment and there would be nothing he could do at all if he didn't start to think up a plan. It all began to fall into place in his head.

He would be the serpent in the grass that they wouldn't even suspect. His words would be dripped in honey and he would hide his deception behind a look of innocence that Caleb or Anna always teased him over when they were younger, even still when they joined the army. They would forget who he ever even was before he was captured if he could play them enough. He just had to do it right. He suspected he had all the time in the world. 

The sun slowly began to appear above the buildings and houses and he closed his eyes for a moment of peace before he would have to start his charade. 

A knock at the bedroom door made him turn his head towards it and he knew he it was before they even graced the doorway.

"Come in." He said softly as he sat back down on the bed to pull the covers over himself but loud enough to be heard and André suddenly appeared inside the doorway with a smile. 

"I hope you slept well." He said nicely and Ben stared up at him with a raised eyebrow. 

"It was peaceful enough. Could you give me the privacy to change into clean clothes away from your prying eyes or must you watch me do that, I know I am your prisoner after all?" Ben asked in a civil tone to hide his uneasiness and insecurity. 

He watched in amusement as André apologized profoundly before stepping into the hall, most likely with his ear up against it like a worried mother.

He dressed quickly in case someone less friendlier than André decided to pay him a visit. The clothes were tailored made and something he would never wear if he was back at home in muddy Setauket but he wasn't going to be picky at the moment. 

"You can come in." He called and André opened the door only a second later. 

"I imagine you would like to speak to me again, Major André." He said coolly, sitting on the edge of the bed to look up at the Major. 

"Indeed, I would like to again talk to you about your predicament." André informed him, taking a seat at the desk. Ben smiled in amusement at the man's wording. 

"I'm going to guess that you again want to discuss the possibly of me committing treason against my country and army." Ben said, a bite hidden behind his civil tone that he knew André could pick up on. 

"How is it treason to stop the constant killing of your fellow man, on both sides?" André snapped, losing his temper as he stood up to stand over the younger Major. 

Ben stared up at him in wonder. "You are a wishful thinker, Major André." He said finally, completely ignoring the question. 

"Sometimes I think I am to be the only one left." André sighed, sitting back in the chair before suddenly meeting Ben's eyes from halfway across the room. 

"I hoped that you would be one as well."   
Ben scoffed and turned his head away without offering anything in reply.

"War makes us into perverse, difficult people, I suppose." He said finally, clicking his tongue as a sign of his irritation. 

"I have lots of men that are very interested in meeting you." André said and Ben looked over at him for the suddenness of his statement. 

"To talk of?" He asked as if he had no idea and André smiled at him in amusement. 

"I suppose they will play upon your humanity but I see that won't do much. I feel like Simcoe may have different plans for you though." André said with a shake of his head and Ben could see they agreed on one thing. Simcoe wasn't in his right mind, if he had ever been. 

"I suppose we better get on with it then." Ben sighed and a quick plan formed on the tip of his mind. "I would think we shall meet them somewhere?" 

André chuckled at him. "That is a nice try, Major but I am not that dull. You will have to stay in the house, wouldn't want you to get away while we have you." 

Ben cursed the man silently but didn't let it show on his face as he stood up with him to walk towards the bedroom door that he hadn't passed through since he came to the house while unconscious. 

"Do you think that they will have me hanged?" Ben asked suddenly and he himself didn't even know why he had asked it. What did this man care? 

André looked at him for a moment and his eyes seemed to soften at the picture of him. 

"I think you may be the first captured spy to make it out alive if I can do anything about it.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow, this is probably one of my most edited chapters thanks to my fellow Turn writer, Thira, who has two amazing Turn fanfics up. Which you should obviously check out if you're a true fan of the show. :p
> 
> I think the next chapter is going to be more in the POV of André so you guys can expect that to be up next.
> 
> Let me know what you think in the comments! I love to know. Kudos are appreciated as well.


	5. 5.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> We finally hear what André's plan is for Ben.

He left the trapped man alone in the locked bedroom and wondered vaguely if he would be able to find anything sharp enough to cause harm but he didn't want to think about towards whom. He tried to shake the thought from his head as he walks down the stairs. 

He entered the dining room and there were British officers all sitting down with various states of disgust on their face. Probably from having to sit under the same roof as a known rebel spy, he thought.

However, Simcoe had to be the worst of them all. He sat at the end of the table with a look of terrible irritation on his pale face that he chalked up to the fact that he hadn't been permitted to shoot the Major the moment they had come face to for whatever grievance he might have committed in the past. 

Simcoe jumped up immediately after he saw him come into the room. 

"You can't keep him locked up in your bedroom forever." Simcoe sneered, a look of hatred on his face that was either perpetually present in his features or saved specially for this occasion. "He's going to have to stand trial at some point for his crimes." 

Everyone around the table grunted in agreement with the man as he sat back down, and John wanted to grind his teeth and shout at the blood thirsty man in irritation but tried to hide the thought from his face. 

"I couldn't think of anything more unnecessary." He said calmly and Simcoe raised his eyebrows as if he was going to suddenly make a speech about his new found love for George Washington. 

"He could be of use to us. I could get him to trust me, maybe even our cause if I could keep him here long enough. I can trick him, maybe make him believe that Washington doesn't want him back. He'll turn coats quickly than the breeze if he hears something like that. He's smart but young, he could fall for anything if he hears it enough." 

He held his breath and watched as they all shared a glance with each other, murmuring as they ran it over in their heads. 

The Colonel finally nodded with an air of relentlessness before he turned to John. "I want you to get him to talk, Major. I don't care what you have to do, just do it. I want to be one step ahead of Washington. Get something out of him or I'll string you up there with him to hang." He threatened and stood up from his chair, completely ignoring the look of disbelief Simcoe's face at the deal. He could have smirked if his insides weren't twisting so violently. 

He let out a breath of relief as they all left his house before he turned to stare up the stairs that led to the locked bedroom which now held a man that now unknowingly held his life in his hands.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I feel like I write Simcoe a little off but I also feel like he'd probably also act crazy if he had Ben Tallmadge all trapped. That might be something I touch upon actually.
> 
> Sorry it's a little short but I wanted to start the next chapter off with they beginning of the two men's plans as they try to trick each other.


	6. 6.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The meeting of both sides and Washington makes a appearance.

He stopped in the doorway that led in what seemed to be the dinning room, cold dread settling in his stomach as he was face to face with not only Simcoe, but what must be Colonel Cook. His mouth was suddenly dry, no matter how much he tried to be strong. He thought back to Nathan. Had he been as afraid and cowardly as he was now?

A hand pressed against the small of his back and he nearly jumped, the soft touch burning his skin. It was… It was wrong. He stiffened, trying to brush it off, but he was trapped between the room and that touch. Ben swallowed and tried to shift away from André

Cook smiled knowingly up at him. "Don't worry about him Major, I'd be just as wary if the tables were turned." The hand disappeared and André stepped to the side.

"I won't tell you anything." Ben said stubbornly, lifting his chin in defiance. He would have to get out of here without giving them anything of importance. He couldn't turn against his army.

Simcoe snorted unattractively into his tea and Cook chuckled at him as if he was talking to a partially amusing child.

"No worry, son. Major André here actually had plan to send a letter to your General to request a trade." Cook said, waving towards the other man who Ben turned a distrustful eye towards.

What was he planning? He couldn't remember the last time they had a prisoner of equal value to himself. At least not since he had left camp and that would barely be enough time to plan a raid much less take high ranking prisoners.

"Major André has been kind enough to offer you board, free of charge of course. I know how little your army men are paid." Cook smiled and Ben couldn't tell if he was joking or actually insulting. He chose to ignore it.

He turned to look at André for a moment, his eyes holding a distrustful gleam as they all watched him, waiting for his next move. He had to get them to trust him...

He bowed slightly after a moment of thought, good manners kicking in as he spoke. "I thank you then, Major. You have been more than kind."

André met Cook's eye for a moment in a conversation Ben couldn't understand before copying the younger man. "It is truly my pleasure, Major. You have been a wonderful guest so far." He replied, grinning cheekily at the other.

•••

"So, I guess there is truly nothing you can reveal to me about Washington?" André asked with false curiosity that night as he took Ben back to the guarded bedroom under a lock and key.

Ben once again looked distrustful and he could have laughed out. He was at least good at that part of the job. He hadn't let anything out yet.

"Would you reveal the deepest secrets of your army to me?" Ben finally asked coolly, crossing his legs as he sat down on the bed to face the man.

André grinned at that, walking closer to take a seat on the bed beside him as if they were close friends in the middle of a conversation. "What a loyal man you are, Major. I can truly see why you have gotten so far in the ranks." He complimented with a lingering pat to his shoulder that made Ben want to squirm away like a uncomfortable child.

André's surprisingly warm touch lingered for a moment that left Ben dazed, long enough for him to stand and walk towards the door. He felt conflicted. 

"I shall pen a letter to Washington tomorrow and as soon as I've received a reply then I will come to you. Is that alright?" He asked and Ben wanted to chuckle. Was really he able to choose?

"I suppose shall wait patiently until then." Ben replied and André grinned charmingly from the doorway.

"Sleep well, Major Tallmadge."

"And you as well, Major André."

•••

"Sir, I haven't seen him in camp for days." Caleb informed the General who looked very pained at the new information about his trusted Head of Intelligence.

"He was suppose to come back at least a day ago." Washington muttered to almost to himself with irritation and weariness in his tone. He had no idea what he would do if they had captured Benjamin. At this point, he had no idea if the information that Benjamin held was even safe anymore.

Washington finally looked up at the best friend of the Major and sighed.

"Since we have received nothing about his whereabouts we must assume that he has been taken captive by the British. Any information that he knows must be assumed to be compromised until we know more of the situation." He informed Caleb, who's face creased in worry and irritation at the very idea he implied.

"There is nothing that we can do until we are positive. We must wait patiently until then." Washington said, a command laced behind the words.


	7. 7.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The most vibrant memories are the hardest to forget.

He slept fitfully but it is sheer exhaustion that keeps him drowning in his unpleasant dreams. It was a dream of Washington hanging him for treason that woke him up with a gasp, his hand shooting up to his neck where he could still feel the rope biting into his skin. His breathing wouldn’t return to normal, and it took him a moment to understand that he was silently sobbing. Washington’s last words to him were still fresh on his mind and he can't help the sense of foreshadowing that the dream brought. Will this be his future, a death by the hand of the man he swore to protect? What will this prison do to him? 

He swung out of bed to press his bare feet to the cold, wooden floor, trying to chase away the pictures in his mind with the biting chill, but they won’t leave. He momentarily wished that Gamble had just have shot him dead.

He changed quickly into a pair of clothes, suddenly feeling exposed in his mere sleeping shirt. Vulnerable. The strange clothes didn’t give him the comfort he sought, they were wrong, not the blue he was used to. It felt like yet another betrayal that set guilt deep in his bones. 

He sat on the bed, brooding over his possibilities, both anticipating and dreading the moment someone would come into his pretty cell. What was it André wanted from him? His thoughts turned back to the lingering hand on his back and the gentle touch to his shoulder. 

He felt like vomiting, he ached enough for the comfort of a friendly face that he would turn to the face of an enemy. 

Time moved tediously as he waited but he found that he was too proud to ask for a form of entertainment the next time he sees André. The man must already see him in a childish light and he was too prideful to supply the theory.   
His mind wandered back to his proud uniform of blue that he had worn without fear into any battle and his face drooped sadly as he looks out the window.

Embarrassingly, he jumped in surprise when the bedroom door unlocked and swung open, pulling him out of his nostalgic daydreaming. 

The servant girl, Abigail, he distantly remembered as if it's a memory from a different life ago, peers into the room as if he was going to spring a surprise attack upon her to escape. He wanted to smile for the first time. 

"Abigail." He greeted her cheerfully and watched as she stared back at him with a glint of what he could only assume to be mistrust. They had picked well with her, she would not get herself caught. 

"Major Tallmadge." She finally greeted dryly and he nodded approvingly. Too many eyes at the moment to speak freely. He didn't want a innocent person to swing for treason with him. 

He would rather die himself from a terrible cause than to feel the guilt that would surely crawl up his chest to suffocate him. 

"Major André wanted me to bring you to his bedroom so that he could talk to you about something." She informed him and he nodded gravely, standing up from the seat stiffly.

"I guess we shouldn't keep him waiting, who knows what he could do to me." He kidded her playfully to break the tension of their first face to face meeting and was pleased at the small smile that graced her rather perpetually grave expression. 

×•× 

Abigail knocked on the big door twice and Ben waited a step behind her, wondering again what reason André had to summon him. 

It swung open to reveal the man in question and his eyes instantly looked over Abigail's shoulder to meet Ben's. He smiled kindly at the timid woman and thanked her profoundly. 

Ben glanced at her one last time as she disappeared down the hall before André beaconed him into the room, pointing out a seat for him to take. 

His legs crossed as he sat and he tried to hide his nervousness from André as his eyes scanned the bedroom. 

There were papers everywhere and he couldn’t help the breath of amusement he let's out when he noticed the messiness of the area. He observee drawings of everything, from people to landscapes and he silently praises them. It looked nothing like what the bedroom of a British Major should. But he's not much of an expert in that field, he imagined. 

"I assumed that you were probably getting bored in that room all alone." André said and he glanced over at the man curiously as he threw his jacket on before buttoning it up. 

"So I thought I would take you for a walk around the city. I assume you haven't seen much of it." He said as if he was a bored dog and Ben tried not to curl his lips at the tone. 

He thought back to the months of work that it took to even get one of their men close to the city and here he was right in the middle. Even though he was captured, he could still gather intelligence for the first change he got to escape back to camp. 

"I do suppose you must keep all your pets from being bored so how could I refuse?" He asked rhetorically and André laughed in amusement. 

"Come then, Benjamin. We have no time to waste." André said, fixing the last buttons on his jacket before opening the bedroom door to let Ben out. 

×•× 

His presence drew little attention from the civilians of the city and he drew a deep breath of the city air in, relief settling his nerves. He didn't feel like getting mobbed by the Tories of the city at the moment. 

Redcoats glanced at him as he passed and he could only assume that they knew who he was as they threw him looks of disdain and muttered curses. All the troops within the city had probably heard that André was keeping a rebel soldier as a pet now. 

They spoke little as the walked and Ben enjoyed this moment to look around the city, something Washington had been trying to get men to do for months with fail. It was broken when André decided to start a conversation. 

"Tell me about your hometown. I have heard of it but I have never been. I imagine you have not been there since the start of this war." He said and Ben looked at him out of the corner of his eye. Why would he wanted to know about Setauket? He asked himself, going over how he could possibly use that against him. 

André must have noticed his train of thought because he threw his head back and laughed. "I only ask because of curiosity. I have no second purpose." He tries to sooth and Ben scowled before opening his mouth. 

"It is true that I have not been back home since I left." He muttered, looking around at the supply of colorful shops that they passed. 

André nodded in understanding. "What do you remember most? I always remember the most vivid things from my home." 

Ben opened his mouth for a moment before shutting it again to think. Vivid images and sounds that make his heart hurt fill his mind as he thinks back to Setauket. 

"The mud." 

André turned away from the shop he had been looking at for a moment to look at Ben in confusion. "The mud?" 

He stares down at his hands as if remembering a different time when his nails had been lined with the mud he spoke of. 

"Yes, whenever it would rain in the Spring, all we could see was mud, almost all the way into Summer." Ben said quietly, pursing his lips as he wondered why he was letting this out to the man he should consider a enemy.

"Encrusted our knees and dried in our hair. We were always covered in it." He said almost fondly and André laughed at the image that conjured itself in his head. 

"I can't imagine why someone would want to leave." He said jokingly and Ben turned grim for a moment. He knew that André expected a patriotic response of how he left to fight for freedom or his country, or something along those lines. He had given enough to the man, men like him, he thought. 

"I always hated the mud but I'm not so sure I escaped it." He said.


	8. 8.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The story now begins and Ben tries to make his escape.

He sat silently alone at his desk, a single candle lit the area as he sat in the chair, letters in desperate need of replies scattered all around the top of the desk, forgotten. 

He could hardly blame his wondering mind when it conjured up images of the boy without his blue. 

The image of the boy that his mind comes came with was more vivid than it should have been, and he tried not to think about it much as his mind wandered over everything he knew about him and what else he had learned. 

Not much, he thought with a tired and almost amused smirk.

He was quite stubborn and foolish with young age that hasn't been worked out of him yet but he held himself with intelligence and poise and without the arrogance that he had seen within many young officers on both sides. He gave nothing away to his enemies with his still, blue eyes and could draw the attention of all the occupants of any room even one filled with his worst of enemies with one charming smile. 

He could understand why a man such as Washington, if they rumors that circled around him were true, would choose a man such as Benjamin. With both intelligence and looks on his side, he would surely make a wonderful spy. An even greater asset if they could get him to trust them, him. 

He thought back to how Benjamin's eyes had filled with anger, resentment and stubbornness when he had even dared to interrogate him on information about the rebel army. 

He pinched the bridge of his nose before his thoughts of the man could go any farther. He was sure he could sit in the darkness of his bedroom all night and think of ways that he could crack the code that was Major Benjamin Tallmadge. 

A soft knock on the door that he instantly recognized made him look up. "Come in, Abigail." He called and the door creaked as the dark skinned woman lets herself in. 

"I just wanted to tell you that dinner was ready, Major André." She said and he looked down at the pile of letters with a sigh before smiling up at her kindly. 

"Thank you, Abigail. I will be down as soon as I've collected our guest." 

×•× 

His boots clicked against the floor as he paced the length of the bedroom. He himself quickly became afraid that he would wear down the floor from how much he did it but he couldn't settle his worries. 

Was this going to be what he got for all the things he had sacrificed during the war? A long capture before a quick and dishonorable death?   
If he would be lucky enough for that. He had no idea what Simcoe would do if he got ahold of him.

He couldn't help but wish for Caleb to be with him, no matter how selfish it sounded even to his own ears. The man could put anyone's fears to rest with just a few choice words and jokes. He would do just about anything for a friendly face at the moment. 

He finally sat down in a chair with a huff, running his fingers through the braid that he hadn't bothered to redo. 

André had been more than friendly...

He shook his head before the thought could implant itself deeper. How utterly pathetic, he thought miserably. He couldn't even tell the good from the bad any longer.

The distinct twist of the doorknob made him look up in confusion. He rarely had a visitor at this time unless it was Abigail to bring him dinner and he didn't expect her till much later. He raised up slowly, preparing himself for a attack. 

André stared into the room at him with a raised eyebrow. He sighed in relief and pressed a hand to his chest discreetly as turned around again.

"I wasn't expecting you, Major." He said casually and could almost feel André's gaze piercing his back before he looked at the man over his shoulder. 

"I know, Benjamin." He said and Ben raised his eyebrow in curiosity at the uncertainty in his tone as he turned around. "But since you haven't beaten down Abigail to escape, I thought that you may join me down in the dining room for dinner." He said in the form of a question and Ben's eyes lit up for a completely different reason then André thought. 

This could be his chance... He had not seen any other servants other than Abigail and André had sent away all the guards when he decided that Ben wasn't going to attack him or anyone else. He knew for certain that Abigail wouldn't try and stop him if he somehow found a way out. 

"I couldn't think of anything else better for me to do, Major." He said with a charming smile that sparkled with teeth. 

×•×

André walked in front of him as they went down the stairs that he had been on once before. His eyes were instantly on alert as they scanned everywhere. 

He knew that André was without the gun that he usually kept on his hip during the day. He was unarmed and off of his guard. Ben could barely stop himself from cheering. He could be back at camp by tomorrow afternoon if he was careful.   
He acted accordingly as he sat across from André at the table, giving away nothing as he stayed alert.

"I am sure that I may be able to get you some books to keep you company." André said to him and they both watch as Abigail brings in their dinner. 

She laid a large knife down on the table that is used to cut meat and glances at him once before turning to go back into the kitchen. He spares a look in André's direction and could instantly tell he hadn't noticed the weapon.

He couldn’t tell if she did it on purpose but he silently thanked her none the less as his hand slowly sneaked towards it, hidden from André's view. 

"You don't have to do that." He said kindly and André shakes his head.

"I can't leave you with nothing to do if you are going to be staying here for the foreseeable future." He said and it is Ben's turn to laugh as he makes a grab for the knife. 

"I wouldn't say the foreseeable future." He said and slashes out with the knife threateningly when André made a move to grab for him. 

"You've been more than kind, Major." He said and gulped nervously as he watches the other man's every move, expecting him to jump at him. "But I must take my leave now."

He spares André one last glance before he turned to leave through the backdoor. André thought about jumping up to follow after him but this plan is hindered when he opened the door to come face to face with Simcoe


	9. 9.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ben's plan of escape doesn't go quite as he planned.

Ben draws in a quick and surprised breath when he meets Simcoe's eyes and doesn't let it out. Simcoe raises an unimpressed eyebrow at him as if he was nothing but a dirty servant, which they could probably make him into at this point, and he finally shakes his head and blinks owlishly at the man as he breathed deeply, caught off guard by his appearance.

Ben has enough sense to hide the long knife, pressing it behind his back discreetly before he steps back. 

"Major." Simcoe greets and Ben can tell that he is suspicious as he glances around the room at all of their faces. "I didn't expect to see you..." He pauses for a moment to consider his words. "Out and about so soon." He finishes with a wide smile dripping with arrogance and completely fake in a way that makes Ben shudder completely unwillingly. 

"I told him to get the door, he was just having breakfast with me." André says from behind Ben, where he had stood up to stand. He sounds downright murderous and Ben can't help when he flinches when André grips his upper arm tightly as if to stop him from attacking Simcoe in broad daylight.

Simcoe glances at him once before following André back to the dinner table.

Ben steps away quickly so he does not brush up against the man, pressing the knife against a side table shakily before turning back towards the table that Simcoe now occupied.

"You should watch your prisoners more closer, Major." Simcoe said with false concern, tilting his head to the side. "We wouldn't want them to get out." He said and took a glance at Ben who stood in the same spot. "You never know what could happen to a rebel spy in the city."

"Thank you for your advice." André chirps and Ben can hear the sarcasm that laces through the angry man's words.

Ben chances a glance at André once and sees that the man is not looking at him, at least not outright, as he focuses, or pretends to, on Simcoe's prattle. His heart beats irregularly and he still thinks that the crazed man that sits across from him can hear it even though it's in his chest, but he is also curious.

What was he doing?

Ben's eyes don't stray away from the man that sits directly across from him and questions pass across his thoughts too quickly for him to be able to answer them all at once.

Abigail finally shows Simcoe to the door when he is done telling André about something unimportant that Cook wanted him to know, but Ben isn't really sure because for the first time in a long time he doesn't try to listen in.

André looks up when the front door closes and doesn't glance back down when he sees that he had been looking at him. He can't miss the flicker of gratitude for his actions that flickers through Ben's blue eyes and he knows that is the only verbal thanks that he will receive so he just nods once before standing up.

"I think you've had quite enough fresh air today." André says as Ben stands up as well. He grips his arm in a way that borderlines painful before turning to walk up the stairs without looking at him once and Ben doesn't question him as he drags him back up the stairs, slightly afraid of what he would do if he fought against him and his requests.

For the moment, all he knew was that he was nauseatingly gratefully to the other man for what he had done. 

×•×

André's anger was palpable as Ben walked beside him but he did not say anything as Ben waited for him to snap at him any moment.

He couldn't take the tense silence anymore and opened his mouth a few times before he finally decided to speak as André opened the bedroom door for him. "I'm sorry-"

The push that knocked him into the wall took his breath away for a moment and he gasped again when André gripped his shoulders tightly to look him straight in the eye, the kindness usually present now gone to show barely concealed irritation. The gratefulness towards the man for making an excuse for him slipped away to make room for a cold fear that raced up his spine and made him shudder. 

For the first time since he had been taken to André he was truly scared of what the man would do to him for playing on his kindness. But after a few moments he did nothing and Ben's chest heaved in fear as André leaned closer to speak to him.

"I would hope so, Major Tallmadge. You should be eternally gratefully to me. It would be truly horrible if Simcoe caught you in a escape." He said quietly and let Ben loose as he stepped back and turned to walk down the hallway towards his bedroom, his experienced footsteps missing all the creeks of the old house.

Ben didn't know if he should take it as a threat or a warning. But he would be carefully next time with his plans nevertheless.

The door creaks shut behind him and he stands in the middle of his pretty prison. The creak of the bed once he sits down grounds him as he leans forward and pressed his forehead into his hands.


	10. 10.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> André tries to comfort Ben during a nightmare but it takes a turn neither expected.

The silence of the room was not what irritated his fragile nerves but the person he thought about in the silence was. 

Major Benjamin Tallmadge. George Washington's smart and handsome Head of Intelligence that could get himself out of any situation he got into. 

Until he couldn't.

He hadn't expected the stubborn fight of a young man that he had gotten brought to his home, not at all. He wasn't sure if he would have rather gotten a heathen which the British soldiers made the rebels seem to be or the young man that occupied his guest bedroom.  
In this instance, he was not glad to have a face to put to a name. 

He scoffed at the direction his thoughts had taken and raised the lip of the bottle to his mouth for maybe the hundredth time that night. 

Exhaustion makes everything in front of him bleary and he tries to blink it away from his aching eyes a few times but that doesn't help him at all. 

His heads tilts forward with exhaustion and he tries to keep it up but he is fast asleep within a minute. 

×•×  
He curses himself for doing something so rash and stupid without thinking it out beforehand. He cringes to himself when he thinks of the reprehend that Washington would give him if he found out. 

He forces himself to calm down his heart and sit himself at the foot of the bed. 

He taps his fingers against his cheeks as he thinks. He is safe with André, at least for now, while he is still worth something to them. He could be in worst circumstances, he should be thankful that André didn't have him tied up with Simcoe paying him "visits" everyday. He could just wait it out until he was rescued or at least let free. 

×•× 

A scream is what woke André up late that night.   
André jumped up from the chair that he had accidentally fallen asleep in when he heard the first one. 

The second shriek echoed across the whole house and André ran out of his bedroom and down the hallway and towards the guest bedroom where he could already hear Ben tossing around in the bed.

"Please Caleb! I didn't mean to!" Was the last shout he heard before he stuck the key inside the lock of the door. 

"Ben?" André called out in question when he opened the door. The young man in question was twisted around the sheets that usually sat on top of the bed in a sheet of perfection. At the frantic call of his name he flew up with a painful gasp and his unfocused eyes blinked open to stare straight at André without actually seeing him. 

André could see him shaking almost painfully all the way from where he stood rooted in the doorway. He called out Ben's name one last time and that seemed to be what he needed to break out of his trance of shivers. 

His feet seemed to work without moving and in that back of his mind he blamed what he was about to do on the extra drinking that he had. He was unflinching under Ben's stormy gaze and he took a seat on the edge of the bed beside Ben who had began to slide backwards towards the headboard to put distance between the two of them, wiping roughly at the tears that still ran freely down his cheeks. 

Ben was trembling and André was afraid to put him in a flight as he stopped his hand on his cheek with his own. André could not tell either of them what he was thinking as he pressed Ben's hand back into his lap and replaced Ben's hand on his cheek with his own. 

Their gaze did not glance away from each other and André himself was even surprised at his great boldness as he wiped the cheeks of his young enemy dry. The very same enemy that had tried to escape from him that very morning. But at that moment, well he looked pitiful and his young age André could not think to call him his enemy. 

Finally Ben seem to come to his senses and he wrenched away from his hand violently, in fear or something else André did not know. Their blue eyes broke away from each other quickly and Ben's golden hair rested on his cheek as he turned so quickly to look towards the dark window. André raised a hand to push it back behind his ear but let his hand drop back into his lap in horror at himself as he came to his senses. 

"I'm sorry to wake you up so late, Major André." Ben croaked, refusing to turn to look at him. André took it as the plea for his leave that it meant and stood up stiffly. 

"I just wanted to make sure no one crawled through your window to relieve you, Major Tallmadge." André said stiffly, already backing up towards the door. 

André wished him one last goodnight before closing the door again, the last thing he saw being Ben turning to glance at him one more time. 

André leaned his back against the door a pressed a fist into his mouth so he did not alert the Major on the other side of his presence. 

However, he did not know yet that he would come to cherish those fleeting moments.


	11. 11.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Abigail makes assumptions.

He is sure that the awkwardness that occurs after that night is what will drive him to madness. Not living among the enemy, not seeing the same exact walls everyday. But the way that André looks at him now. It makes him uneasy and afraid of what André is thinking of doing with him now. 

He should be overjoyed that André has begun to leave him be. However, every time he catches André look down when he glances up he can't explain the twist in his stomach that occurs. 

The hours that he spend in the house began to turn tedious and without anything else to do to fill the time he began to follow on Abigail's heels like a small child or untrained puppy to help her with her everyday work. She smiled kindly at him and complimented him on his kindness every time he came up beside her to help dust a shelf or clean off a rug. 

One day well Ben was helping Abigail clean the dining room the dominating footsteps of André could be heard coming down the stairs. They shared a look and straightened up to face the man. André greeted them stiffly for a moment, his eyes running up both of them for a moment before he left them to themselves with a quickly mumbled excuse. 

Neither of them spoke to each other again for a few moments then Abigail suddenly broke the silence. 

"I don't understand why he keeps you in the house much. I know he has Simcoe biting at his heels to do something with you." She said, not looking up at him as she continued what she was doing. He stopped and turned towards her to raise an eyebrow in silent question. 

She must have sensed his eyes on her because she turned to regard him with wise brown eyes that were too old for her.

"We all have to do something undignified to survive this war, I suppose. I suppose you staying here and working for your keep is just another one that God will have to forgive." She hummed and he stared at her slight frame for a moment as he tried to decipher what she meant. He tensed up slightly when it occurred to him.

The shamefulness of the accusation, although it looks like she doesn't mean it to be, makes him reil back and curl a lip in distaste. 

The mere thought of what she insinuates brings back memories of his father's sermons of clear rights and wrongs with no doubt of which is which and suddenly he feels sick to his stomach as he steps back and away. 

Abigail glances at him for a moment over her shoulder and he hides his face before he takes his leave. Her goodbye is background noise as he makes his way back up the stairs with a terrible taste on his tongue. 

×•×

The moment that he began to recognize Ben's footsteps was the moment that he knew he had kept the boy for too long. 

He could hear him clamber behind Abigail's barely audible footfall as they walked through the house and he tensed up every moment he heard the two of them pass by his door.

He looked down at the letter addressed to him from Simcoe with a sigh. He could almost feel the man's breath on the back of his neck from how hard he was pushing him to get his hands on Benjamin. 

His hand was steady as he pulled out a piece of paper and ink to begin a reply. He knew that Simcoe was beginning to understand that Benjamin was not being interrogated under his roof, at least not in his style and it was driving the man insane to have a rebel in the city without being beaten bloody. 

He could hear Benjamin's slight mutter through the door as he spoke to Abigail about something. He hid a smile behind a hand before he could catch himself and he shook his head at his own foolishness. 

He was going to get himself hanged right beside the boy...

The thought brought an unexpected sadness to his heart and he wanted to lay his head down on the desk and chastise himself for somehow letting his plan completely turn on him. Benjamin... really was not what he had expected.

At this point, he knew that there was little to be done with him, maybe to have Simcoe beat the strangling feelings about the blonde rebel out of his heart like he planned to do with Benjamin for information. But the very thought of Simcoe's methods made him shudder like a coward. 

So, with those thoughts on his mind, he slowly began again another letter to try and lead Simcoe away from the rebel boy he housed in his quarters.


	12. 12.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> John and Ben have a moment and Anna finally finds out where Ben has gone.

"Major Tallmadge is to be left alone!"

He stopped suddenly in the hall at the sound of his name. After a moment he understood that the voices were coming from André's bedroom where he seemed to be having a heated discussion with someone.

He bit his lip for a moment, remembering his many lessons in childhood against ease dropping before he clicked his tongue at his own weakness and leaned his ear up against the heavy wooden door.

"Don't tell me that the rebel spy worked his way into your heart and home." The unmistakable voice of Simcoe sneered back mockingly to André.

His lips curled in distaste at the very thought of the man. Who did he think he was...

"The Major has done nothing. I have been nothing but hospitality while he's stayed here in the care of the British Army." André retorted and he winced at the sharp sound of laughter from Simcoe.

He tensed up, ready to bolt down the hall at the first sound of footsteps. "I'm sure you've shown Major Tallmadge the very definition of hospitality." Simcoe mocked and he recoiled at what the devious man implied and his mind ran back to what Abigail had said to him.

"He is such a handsome young man...barely old enough to join the cause." Simcoe said, as if in thought and he could almost imagine the knowing smirk planted on his face. "It's a wonder how you don't have young woman knocking at your door, ready to join the disgusting rebel camps for that...man. What a terrible misfortune that he is all locked up here with you..."

A chair scrapped against the floor and he took a step back as he heard one of the men stand up. "Major Tallmadge is a honorable man and I assure you, I have nothing to report that says otherwise." André said, obviously putting the conversation of his virtue to an end.

He stepped away from the door and walked down the hallway towards his bedroom quickly so to not draw attention to himself. His mind raced as he wondered what Simcoe could possibly want, or why André stood up for him against Simcoe's dissection of his private life.

"I'm sure that he is quite." Simcoe said, smiling up at the Major who stood in front of him, a plan already forming in his head.

×•×

The sight of André sitting at his bed made his heart jump violently in his chest and he took a step back in surprise. He cursed the man silently and glared at him.

"I'm sorry to have startled you, Major." André said, laying the book he had loaned him down on the bed before standing up.

He scowled and stepped closer to show that he was the exact opposite. "You did no such thing. I was just surprised by your presence, as it has been scarce lately." He said airily and André smiled amusingly at that.

"If that is what you must tell yourself." André teased and he swung around to fix his glare on him.

"But I do have a serious matter to discuss with you." André said, his face turning grave so quickly that his soon followed at his sudden seriousness.

"I am to once again meet with Colonel Cook and Captain Simcoe." André informed him and his nose crinkled in disgust at the very name of the red coats.

"Why must you tell me this? I am sure that they will not welcome the likes of me unless I have precious rebel secrets at the tip of my tongue." He said with a humorless laugh and André stepped closer to him with a gentle laugh at his quick temper. André laid a gently hand on his shoulder and he jumped slightly at the unexpected touch. The last time André had laid a hand on him had not been forgotten so quickly.

"That is what I've come to tell you. They will desire information." André warned him and the hand on his shoulder was forgotten as his face fell. So, the days of comfort well living underneath André's safe house were soon to come to an end, probably the living in general. Damn it, but of course not even the British could forget about a known spy living just under their nose.

"That is something that I cannot supply." He said and it was André's turn to let his face fall.

"Captain Simcoe is biting at my heels like a wild hound to interrogate you himself or have you hanged when the find that you have no desire to speak. And I am sure Colonel Cook will not have any objections." André hissed at him, his hand tightening to a bruising force on his shoulder but he didn't pull himself back.

He blinked at the tone of care that laced through his harsh words and licked his suddenly dry lips. "I am ready to die for my country." He said, his heart beating violently within his chest as he made eye contact with John.

The hand that was suddenly slipped from his shoulder and pressed to his cheek did not make him jump in surprise this time around. He blinked but didn't pull away, waiting to see what André would do. Would he try and beat any information he had out of him with his palms?

"You are a stubborn man, Benjamin Tallmadge." John said sadly and Ben stared at him in surprise as he ran a thumb across his cheek, brushing a strand of hair that had fallen from his braid out of his eyes. The small movement brought him to his senses and he violently turned away from John's hold in disgust, not meeting the man's gaze as blonde hair flew in front of his face from the violent twist.

 _There is something wrong with me...There is something wrong with me..._  He repeated to himself as John let his hand fall back to his side.

"Tell them..." He started, pressing a hand to his mouth as if he was going to be sick from the very conversation. John suddenly leaned forward in anticipation. "Tell them that there is nothing that I can tell them that will ever help them win." He breath turning to face the Major with triumph written clear in his expression as he bared his teeth in show at the enemy Major.

John stomped out of the room with a uncharacteristic huff and Ben stared at the floorboards as he went.

×•×

"What was going through your heads?" Anna shouted at him, as she slammed a fist into his arm with the force of a somewhat grown man. He winced and gripped her fist with two hands as he tried to stop her from struggling.

"You're going to get us caught and hung for treason." He snapped lowly at her and she ceased her movement and quickly glared at him silent as she stepped away from him.

"Please explain why Ben would possibly be sent on a mission like that, Caleb. We are lucky that Abigail could even get this letter to us." She whispered angrily at him, throwing the cream colored letter at him in anger.

"Washington was the one that did it." He argued and she scoffed. "I had nothing to do with it. Don't injury the messenger." He tried to joke and winced at her gaze once again turned agitated.

"Who knows what they are doing to him, Caleb." She said, her tone turning worried as their eyes met.

"We have to rescue him as soon as we can. Before anything bad happens." She declared in determination and he nodded his agreement.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you all like this chapter! I worked really hard on it and would love if you could tell me what you thought about it. :)


	13. 13.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Simcoe makes a bloody appearance.

When John lacked an appearance that next morning it did not surprise him much as he remembered the meeting the other man had said he needed to attend, most likely to discuss his presence. He shuddered silently when he tried to imagine what Simcoe and Cooke had in mind for him. He had a feeling that what he thought wouldn't even come close. 

He followed through his morning routine, or more like Abigail's, but little could be done about the violent twisting of his innards that gave away his fear as he wondered what they could be deciding. 

Would they hang him immediately when they figured out that he wouldn't start talking no matter what they did or have Simcoe try and torture the information he withheld from them? 

The thoughts made him shiver once more and Abigail tried to keep him busy as if she could somehow peek into his thoughts swirling around in his head like a violent sea. 

Once they were both wet from the sweat dripping down their face with hair falling down in front of their eyes was when Abigail finally relieved him to do whatever he pleased, telling him that she needed to go to the market and would be back in time for John's return. He smiled at her and wished her good luck before watching her go. He pulled himself back up the stairs and towards his bedroom after a moment.

What he did not expect was to see a Captain John Simcoe lazing around on his bed. 

He instantly stepped back into the hallway and cursed himself for the show of fear when Simcoe smiled mockingly at him. He opened his mouth to call out to Abigail in hopes that was she was still close enough to hear him but his teeth clicked together audibly when Simcoe reached into his jacket and pulled out a gun that he pointed straight at his chest. 

Simcoe smiled humorously at him as if he had finally won a long battle as he finally took a long step into the room and let the door close behind his back. 

"Why, Major Tallmadge, what a surprise to see you here." Simcoe said sarcastically and he growled at his dry humor. 

"I find the housing of the camps more desirable but alas you will find I don't have much say." He said, baring all his teeth in a sharp parody of a grin. 

Simcoe laughed as if he had just told the most humorous joke he had heard since the war had started. The bloodthirsty man grabbed him by the arm suddenly and began to drag him towards a chair he had sat in the middle of the room.

He started to kick and fight as soon as Simcoe grabbed at him and opened his mouth to release a stream of vulgar shouts at the terrible man but stopped quickly when he felt the hard press of a cold knife to his throat, readying to slice into his skin.

Thick rope dug into his wrists and ankles as Simcoe tied him down and he bit his lip so to not let any sound escape. 

His eyes followed Simcoe as he sat back down on his bed before he pointed a knife at his chest and grinned at his seemingly defeated image. 

"I have a few questions for you, Major Tallmadge." 

×•×

The lack of one John Simcoe was somewhat of a surprise to him when he thought of the almost obsessive letters he had gotten from the man on the subject of Benjamin Tallmadge, whom this meeting was mostly about. However, Cooke put him to ease with a explanation of just too much to drink the night before and a sloppily written letter of apology that morning. 

"So essentially you have gotten me nothing of importance that could help your King and country." Cooke deadpanned and he winced at the tone before quickly trying to explain himself. 

"He doesn't even trust anything that even thinks about wearing a piece of red clothing. But he is beginning to trust me. He tells me little things without meaning to, things about his friends and family, his home." He took a deep breath and hesitated before continuing. "But I think I have an idea, something that will get him to trust me definitely. Maybe even get him to switch sides." He said vaguely, wording his sentences deliberately to please the man. 

The man seem to look him over for a moment before he sighed, nodding his head. 

"You haven't got a lot of time, André. Soon you'll have more then Simcoe biting at your heels to get to the rebel Major held under your roof." The Colonel said before standing up to leave the meeting. Leaving him to think about just what he was going to do. 

×•×

"What an excuse for a man you are." Simcoe scoffed at him as he moaned at the pain before he spat another mouth full of blood from the bite on his tongue at his boots. "You can't even take a little hit." The torturer said to his torturee, delivering yet another backhanded hit to his already bruised face. 

Simcoe leaned forward and grabbed his chin, swiveling it back and forth to survey his work. He stubbornly kept his lips sealed and Simcoe laughed as he roughly patted his cheek, making him snap his head away with a wince. 

"Every man has a breaking point and I doubt you are without one." Simcoe said in a high voice, as if he was speaking to a child as he went to kneel in front of him with a sharp knife in his hand. 

He snapped his teeth savagely at him like an angry dog. The pristine and calm image of the Major gone as he fought against the ties that held him to the chair. He hoped that this hid just how wildly his heart beat against his chest, begging to be let go. 

"I'd rather hang MYSELF then tell a former lobster like you anything. I am loyal to my country and my men and will never tell you a word." He snarled angrily and spat in a clean arch that would make Caleb proud which landed in Simcoe's face. 

The face of calmness disappeared for a satisfying moment as Simcoe stared at him, as if in disbelief that he had actually done that well in his position. Then it was replaced with determination as he cleaned his face, leaning forward so that he was barely a few inches from his face. 

"Let's see how long any of those savages you call soldiers in that camp will keep you in their tents when I cut up that pretty face of yours." Simcoe whispered angrily in his ear and he could feel the cold steel against his face before he could even think of a clever response. 

He whimpered pitifully as Simcoe dug the knife in a clean line from his under eye to the edge of his mouth.

"You will tell me." Simcoe whispered manically to him before bashing the handle of the knife to the side of his head in anger. 

He passed out from the pain with the sound of Simcoe's crazed laughter to see him off. 

×•×

A distinct lack of Abigail waiting faithfully at the door when he returned to the house was what set him on edge at first. 

He peaked into all of the rooms and none of them held Abigail. He frowned slightly, mounting the stairs with softened footsteps in search of the woman. He opened his mouth to call out her name when he heard a soft whimper come from the bedroom of Benjamin Tallmadge. His resident rebel spy. 

The door was barely open a slit and he had no cares of privacy when he carefully peeked in to face one of the most terrible sights he could imagine at the moment. 

Benjamin, passed out and strapped to a chair, blonde locks of hair laying hazardously stuck to his cheeks with blood from a long cut on his face, but worse of all, with one John Simcoe leaning over him to speak closely to his slack face. 

"What do you think you are doing?!"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just disregard like all of TURN after Ben is taken. I'm just making my own story now. XD 
> 
> I live off comments folk! All of your comments give me life and happiness.
> 
> Feed a child for one comment a day folk...


	14. 14.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A filler chapter with mild violence and slight fluff at the end.

Simcoe straightens up without even a jump of surprise from André's loud voice and turns around to face him with a raised eyebrow.

"I'm just interrogating our captive, Major. I didn't think you would have a problem with me using the same methods that we use for all other captured spies withholding information." Simcoe said, smirking at André as he grounded his teeth, his mind running to think of some excuse to get Benjamin out of Simcoe's torture without incriminating himself as well. 

"Cooke gave me permission to use other means of interrogation." André blurted out, looking the bloody image in front of him up and down. "That aren't so...bloody." 

Simcoe opened his mouth to deny this but he fixed him with a glare. "At the meeting today, you were absent so I'm sure you wouldn't have known about it." 

Simcoe was now the one glaring at André, but he wasn't stupid enough to not realize when he lost a battle. He glanced back at Benjamin, who was somewhat lucid as his head rolled back and forth to lay on his shoulders, and smiles mockingly once more as he straightens his jacket to leave.

André moved out of the way as Simcoe was about to go past him but Simcoe stops him with a hand to his chest as he leans forward to whisper to him. 

"I didn't touch his body. I'm sure you'll at least appreciate that."

André twists around to glare at the man, maybe even to loose his calm image and shout at him but he is already gone. His light tread down the stairs the only evidence he was once there. André tries to forget him in favour of helping Ben. 

André kneels down in front of Benjamin and the first thing that he does is loosen the ropes tying him down to the chair. Redness is left behind and he winces as he thinks about the bruising that will follow later on. André tries to press a palm to Ben's unharmed cheek to see just how bad Simcoe's damage is but he recoils away with a sudden violence as he seems to come back to himself. 

André and Ben's eyes meet and André can see the fight that still burns in Ben's. André makes a grab for Ben's wrist to try and keep him still so that he can talk to him but he is already fighting at even the slightest touch. 

André curses Simcoe and himself and even Ben for a moment as he witnesses Ben jump up from the chair and run towards the door after a well placed kick to get away. André catches him around the waist before he can open it and drags him back towards his body to hold him still, slightly afraid that he might hurt the injured boy as he feels him fight against his hold. 

Ben bows forward in André's arms as he fights and fights and fights as if for his life and maybe he thinks that he is but André is no Simcoe.

At least he would not be towards Ben. André shudders himself at the very thought. He did not know when the enemy had become anything but the enemy.

Ben wiggles back and forth like a slippery eel but André's hold cannot be broken by anything and he soon feels the younger boy begin to tire of fighting until he is almost motionless in André's arms. 

"Put me down, damn you." Ben sobs out between hitching breaths and André drops him to the ground unceremoniously, feeling terrible afterwards when he watches Ben crumble. 

André once again kneels on the ground in front of Ben but this time he is too tired to fight. André ignores the tear tracks that cut through the blood on Ben's face in favour of gripping Ben's chin to survey the damage to his face. 

André sighs when Ben tries to twist his face away but still lets go. This time Ben does not try to get away from their close proximity, all he does is lift a wobbling hand to his bloody cheek before pulling away to survey the red that covers his fingers. 

Ben looks up to meet André's eyes with watery blue ones. He is weakened in a way that André hasn't seen yet and the blood and exhaustion that cloaks him does not help end that thought. 

"I am so sorry, Benjamin." André offered softly and Ben closes his eyes for a moment as he takes in a deep breath. 

André's heart hurts for the young man in front of him and slowly, as if someone is commanding his limbs, he grips Ben's wrists and pulls him closer so that he can wrap his arms around Ben's shoulders and tugs him closer towards his chest for comfort. And by the grace of God, Ben doesn't pull out of his hold or fight but moves just a little closer, just barely but but enough for André to notice, leaning his uninjured cheek against André's chest as he tries to calm himself with deep breaths.

André wondered and for a moment hoped that this was the extra push that Ben needed to trust him.


	15. 15.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> André sews up Benjamin but everything still manages to end up in pieces.

He pushed away from Benjamin to instead grab him by the shoulders so that he could hold him steady as they both stood up. 

Ben's hair was disheveled and his face was paled from the experience to the point of sickliness. He could still see a tremble in the bottom of Ben's lip that he tried to conceal from him but the light tear tracks he could see didn't help him much as he tried to keep his untouched image of strength alive. 

He sighed at the sight, cursing Simcoe, and his mother and her mother as well as he squeezed the Major's shoulders in a try for comforting. 

"Let us sit you down to clean the wound before it gets worse than it seems?" He suggested, already leading Ben towards the bed. The young man followed him without an objection and looked up at him when he sat down. 

He dipped a cloth that Ben had laid beside the washbowl in the cool water. He did not know much more then clean and sew up the wound that he could do for the other man and thought about calling for Abigail before he decided that Ben probably wouldn't appreciate another seeing him in his state.

He readied himself and turned around to face the young man again. "Infection would not have set in yet so I think that it shall heal quickly nicely if you leave it be after I am finished." He muttered softly as he looked over the wound more closely. There was a lack of blood that told him the wound was not deep or partially bad but just a terrible location and he moved to get down on his knees in front of Ben without a thought so he could better wipe away the light second skin of blood that had crusted along the cut. Ben stared down at him with hooded eyes and he casted his away in embarrassment as he thought about his position for longer than a moment. 

He raised the wet cloth without a word towards Ben's wound and pressed a palm to his other cheek to keep his head still. Ben sucked in a short breath and he paused for just a moment before moving on. 

"Um." He began and almost blushed at the undignified sound that came from his mouth as he looked everywhere but into Ben's eyes. "I assure you that Simcoe will be firmly spoken to about his unethical methods of interrogation." He said and then could see the amused smile that crossed Ben's face before a wince followed.

"I am sure that your superiors will not condemn it as quickly as you have, Major André." Ben said almost teasingly and he couldn't help but scowl as he stood up once more after the blood had been wiped away.

Simcoe did not represent the whole of the British Army and it irritated him greatly that any man, even one that was meant to be his enemy thought so. 

“I didn't say anything about my superiors being the ones to speak to him.” He said fiercely and Ben looked up at him with hooded blue eyes that gave away nothing. 

“You are an oddity among men, Major André.” Ben finally said, the first one to break their eye contact as he looked back towards the floor. For a moment André noticed how pretty Ben was for a soldier, although drawn and tired with the slice of Simcoe’s knife to his pale face, he was still nice looking with straw colored hair and a pleasant face that woman and maybe some men would have no trouble looking towards. 

His stomach lurched in a way that was not completely unpleasant and he decided not to answer Ben as he walked towards his desk and slipped out a thin needle that he kept around for when he needed to repair his clothing. 

He glanced at the bottle of alcohol that he had left on his desk before he shrugged and lifted it up to pour a small amount over his needle, remembering it from watching a nurse sew up a wounded man long ago. 

He quickly pulled a strand of hair from his head as he walked back over to the bed, barely wincing at the sting as he threaded the small needle. He looked at a confused Ben who paled at the sight of the needle in his hand and he winced in sympathy as he wondered how he was going to get his next task done. 

“This is going to hurt a bit.” He warned Ben before he began to get to work on closing up the wound. 

×•×

His curses towards André’s character and general usefulness began to tamper down once he sewed the last of the wound close. 

“I'd hate to hear the fate of a man with serious injury under your “kind” hand.” He grumbled and André turned away but not before he saw the smile that threatened to spill over.

“Then I suppose you are lucky.” André said playfully and handed him a cold rag to try and help with the swelling of his cheek. 

He pressed it to the wound but pulled away at the sting with a hiss, glancing up quickly to see why André was so silent their eyes locked as soon as he looked up. He opened his mouth to say something snarky back to him but suddenly as if he almost couldn't help himself André dropped a hand to place it on his warm, unharmed cheek, this time not to move his face from side to side to sew it back together. 

 

His cheeks burned at the suddenness of the bold movement and he could not will the fluster to leave him be. André stroked warm fingers across his cheek and his hand flew up to grab his wrist, pressing a thumb down roughly as a warning. 

“I am not sure what you desire from me, Major.” He choked out, the lump in his throat barely letting a sound leave his throat. Maybe muteness was his punishment for acting so sinfully and without honor. 

 

“I am not sure either.” André said and his voice sounded far away. Deafness and muteness, it seemed a punishing enough for the crime. 

Then suddenly their lips were pressed together as André leaned down towards him, laying one hand to his hip as he pulled the two of them closer together and André quickly wounded a hand into his undone locks as if he was afraid that he would suddenly jump up and spring away like a frightened rabbit and for a moment, just a moment, he enjoyed the press of their bodies against one another so close that he could feel André's racing heart against his own but then he came back to himself and wondered if that's what it felt like when the Devil took over your body and made you do things you would never usually want to. 

“You cannot do such things!” He exclaimed, a note of hysteria in his voice as he pushed André away from him and off of the bed. They both breathed deeply and loudly as the stared at one another, both daring the other to make the next move. 

 

“Says you?” André asked, moving to grab him but he twisted away from his palms with a sudden violence that only occurred when a person was at the end of their rope. His teeth bared and willing to bite as he quickly moved to the other side of the bed to put distance between the two of them.

What was wrong with me? What was wrong with me? What was wrong with me? He repeated to himself over and over against as his heart beat violently against his chest, threatening to just break out of the cage it was in like a little wild song bird. 

“Says any God fearing man or woman, you capricious bastard. You will burn in hell with the Devil but you won't take me with you.” He snapped, pressing his nails to his lips to try and cover up the feeling of their lips pressed together with another type of burn. 

“Not everyone, I would say, Major.” André grinned as if he was just some petulant child throwing a partially funny tantrum and he wanted to smack the look of smugness right from his face. 

Neither of them said anything for a moment, he too stunned to say or do much of anything to the man just yet and André waited to see what he would do but finally he sighed in resignation. 

“It seems that you would do well to have some time alone. I will leave you to your own entertainment.” André told the surprised man, crossing the bedroom floor to open the door before he stopped and looked at Ben over his shoulder. 

“You much too good of a Reverend's son but you know where to find me if you wanna talk.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I really appreciate if you comment your opinion on the chapter or give me kudos! :)
> 
> No beta - I'm always looking for extra editorial help when I'm busy. :D


	16. 16.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> André let's Ben know about a new development, much to Ben's surprise.

The complete silence from André was driving him mad quickly. As a spy, in the back of his mind he wondered if this was just another one of André's tactics to try and get him to trust the man or to get him to speak first. However, his fierce curiosity of why he would possible think of this route just seem to make his time pass slower as he tried to avoid the watchful but now silent eyes of André.

In just two days, Abigail noticed the difference in him as well and could tell that something had happened she did not know about already. She regarded the scabbing wound on his cheek with eyes that informed him that someone, probably André, has already briefed her on what had happened in her absents. 

After catching one more dish that he had clumsily almost broken as he got stuck in his head she sent him up to his room to rest for the afternoon, thinking his unusual clumsiness was a side effect of tiredness. 

He was somewhat surprised with himself when he sat down at the window and stared outside to see early warm weather. Time had passed and he had barely even noticed, what with trying to stay alive in André's care. He hadn't even bothered keeping track of the days or asking anyone the date. He had surely been occupying André's space for multiple weeks, maybe even months, with little result. He tried not to think of the disappointment he would surely receive if Washington or anyone else connected to the ring heard of his lack of results. 

He shook away the voice in the back of his head that told him that André had been keeping him safe and had been kind to him for almost the entirety of his "stay". André was not the kind and honorable man that every account had made him out to be. He was devious and cunning like any other spy he had met... 

Is that why he's tricked you? 

He once again ignored the voice that sounded strangely like Caleb and began to think about his friends back at camp and in Setuket. When was the last time he had had a thought that was longer then in passing about them?

Had Caleb informed Anna and Abe about his capture? Had they already been caught and he just had no idea? Where they even thinking about him or had Washington commanded them to leave him behind because he thought he would have already cracked? 

The onslaught of questions made his head hurt painfully as he thought of all the possibilities and he laid down on the bed. He would get back to camp and then everything would be fine again. He wouldn't stray away from the plan, he would get back to his friends and army companions...

He laid a cold hand across his forehead as he thought of a new plan. 

×•× 

Abigail was virtually silent that evening as she brought in pails of hot water from the stove downstairs for him to fully bath himself in. Simply telling him that anyone would probably be in much need of a wash after what had happened to him in his week. He couldn't find a sound reason to argue with her as he tries to remember the last time he took a bath that wasn't in a lukewarm lake or freezing river. 

He gulped in a deep breath and slipped under the water, running long fingers through his water darkened hair that blocked the distorted visions above him. Bubbles broke the surface as he hissed at the sting the warm water brought to his cheek but he closed his eyes and did not break the surface until his chest burned, enjoying the silence. 

He did not know how much time had gone by but he jumped, startled, when there was a quick and loud knock on his bedroom door. He opened his mouth to call out to Abigail to give him a moment but a voice that was not Abigail beat him to it. 

"Benjamin?" 

He cursed softly under his breath as he leaped up from the lukewarm water. Wet footprints marked his path as he quickly tried to dry himself before pulling a nightshirt over his still damp head that left a wet print on the back. He kept one eye on the door as he searched around for a pair of pants before throwing his arms up in the air when he couldn't spot any. Abigail must have took them away to wash before the morning. 

"A moment!" He called towards the door and walked leisurely over to give himself some time. He stopped with his hand on the knob and took a deep breath to steady himself before pulling it open to see the Major leaning in the doorway. 

He tried not to let his lips curl as he saw André take in the small amount of his form that he could see from behind the door. 

"I hope that I haven't bothered you." André said with a regretful click of his tongue, his gaze casting down towards his damp hair that hanged around his face in a soggy curtain. 

He bit his tongue on a rude retort that would surely set his plan back and just shook his head softly. "No, Abigail just brought me up some water to bathe and I was just finishing. What can I help you with?" He asked as politely as possible, jumping on one foot to the other on the cold floor behind the door as he silently criticized André's constantly bad timing. 

"Can I possibly talk to you in your room, Ben?" André said, the half-smile that tilted his mouth giving away his amusement. He froze for a moment before cursing himself for it. 

"Of course." He muttered, his face burning against his wishes as he opened the door just a bit wider to let André slip through. He was suddenly hyper aware of his lack of proper clothing and wanted to curse himself instead for not taking a moment longer to try and find his pants.

On André's defense, he barely spared his attire, or lack of, a glance before he glanced back up to meet his eyes. 

I just needed to inform you of a new development." André started but paused as he seemed to try and find the right words. He raised a confused eyebrow before his face grew pale in worry. Had something happened? Was he coming to tell him some terrible news that he had found out?

"What is it?" He prompted as he took a step forward towards the man and André sighed. 

"We must leave Philadelphia for York City immediately."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy Thanksgiving to all my American readers and then happy Thursday to everyone that doesn't celebrate that holiday! XD
> 
> Let me know what you guys think about this or any chapter, it really makes my day to get any feedback from you guys on what you think, like or even don't like, because that helps me in the future too. :D


	17. 17.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> André does not understand how far the fair haired young man will go to finish his mission.

He listens for any movement behind the door and curses softly when he doesn't hear any. The matter is too urgent, he must speak to Ben now. 

The splash of water pierces the air and he breaths out a sigh before he calls out Benjamin's name quickly. Muttering, footsteps and more splashing follow as he waits for Ben to come to the door. His lips quirk up in amusement but the smirk disappears just as quickly when Ben swings the door open in nothing but his night shirt, wet hair splayed out across his shoulders as he stared at him in the doorway. All thoughts and reasoning for him being there seem to leak from his mind as he takes in Benjamin. 

He wanted to applaud for himself for not opening letting his eyes roam up and down the parts of Ben's body that he could see like he wanted to. Like he would if it was anybody else. 

"I hope that I haven't bothered you." He got out, his eyes combing over his water darkened hair that still looked damp. His mouth suddenly felt extremely dry as he looked back up into Ben's eyes. 

"No, Abigail just brought me up some water to bathe and I was just finishing. What can I help you with?" Ben was polite, he tilted his head as he regarded the younger man, wondering how we could even begin to breach the subject. He smiled slightly in amusement as he watched Ben, deciding to tease him. 

"Can I possibly talk to you in your room, Ben?" He asked and red creeped across Ben's cheeks as he froze in the doorway. He bit back a grin of satisfaction. The blush would be what always gave him away. 

"Of course." Ben muttered under his breath and he stepped through the doorway as he let it swing open wider. He took in a breath as he walked past Ben. 

As he stood in front of Ben he suddenly felt like a bumbling fool. He forced his eyes up and away from Ben's form, giving him some ounce of privacy after he had basically busted in his room well he was bathing. 

"I just needed to inform you of a new development." He said slowly and Ben raised an eyebrow at him to continue. He could see Ben beginning to come up with his own ideas as he paled. 

"What is it?" Ben prompted and he sighed as he caved. 

"We must leave Philadelphia for York City immediately."

×•× 

"If he's in the city, he will be found, Caleb." Anna said fiercely to the man as they spoke about the plan for Philadelphia, laying a hand on his shoulder to stop him as he paced the short length of the tent. 

"You know they'll have him under lock and key, Annie. He may just be Tallboy to us but he's a whole trunk of information to them." Caleb said bitterly with a scoff and Anna watched as he tumbled on top of the bed. 

"Have you lost faith in our boy, Caleb?" Anna asked with a smile and he looked up at her as if she had gone mad, making her laugh. 

"That's what I thought. Ben will get back to us. Someway and somehow. If we aren't the ones to find him, then I'm sure he will come up with a plan, he always does." She said and neither said anything about the tinge of hope that colored her words of truth. 

"He always was the smart one." Caleb muttered and Anna nodded her agreement as they once again muttered the secret plan to take back Philadelphia between each other. 

×•× 

His eyes grew in size as he looked back at André. What did this mean? What was the matter? Were they the only ones going? Or was it all the red coats in Philadelphia? He had so many questions that he could feel himself begin to shake as he thought about all the possibilities. He missed his post as Major dearly in that moment. 

André seemed to see all of the questions behind his eyes as he gripped his shoulders tightly before he shook him just barely and for once he made no move to pull away from André's hand. 

"You may think it a victory for your side but it is not one for you." André said solemnly and he blinked up at him in confusion. The smile that he tried to bite away dropping as he wondered what he meant. 

"You are useless to us if no one can get a ounce of information out of you." André said softly to him and leaned forward so that their breathing mingled. "If you want to live, you must give me one small amount of information. Anything, anything at this point would keep you alive. If not, I have been given orders to leave your body for the oncoming rebel forces." André struggled out. 

He blinked rabidly and jerks in André's hold as he stared at André in horror as his words settled in. His mind raced as he became overrun with thoughts. Maybe he was meant to die at the hands of the redcoats for being a spy, he had been ready to when he had first arrived in André's hands, but now he was so sure that he could finish the mission that he had given himself to complete well in André's care. 

He opened his mouth and clamped it shut again, probably looking the part of a fish out of water as his mind raced over every little thing he knew. André stared down at him almost desperately, his hands still pressed in a almost bruising force to his shoulders as he waited for him to respond. 

"Um-" He fumbled like a fool. 

"Thomas Wellington!" He blurted out the first thing that came to mind to André. He remembered the name in passing from a report he had read months ago of a soldier that had unknowingly passed information to the enemy. He bit his lip in what was almost shame as André stared at him in confusion but he continued anyway and opened his mouth to condemn a most likely innocent man. 

“He is a officer among your ranks that we placed there.” He lied and watched André's eyes widen in understanding. “He passed off information to us at camp well under your nose.” He went on and André stared at him in what he could only describe as a mixture of disbelief and anger. He could almost laugh at the man, it was much to easy to trick his fellow spy. André was much too quick to forget what his role had been when he played the role of helpless. 

“Thank you, Benjamin.” André breathed out and he watched the other man’s back as exited the room, presumably to string up a man for a crime he was not guilty of. 

×•× 

Benjamin was bitter and snappish as he rode along the road beside André. He was lucky that the man had even given him his own horse but he was sure that the other man would have a loaded gun close should he decide to try and accomplish his distant thoughts of escape. 

Benjamin’s stomach twisted nervously as he glanced over at André ever few moments. They both wore the clothes of civilians in case they might meet any rebels along the roads out of Philadelphia and André looked utterly unrecognizable in the wool clothing that Benjamin had only just begun to get use to after going so long in his blue and gold uniform. 

André caught Benjamin’s eye the next time he glanced over and smirked playfully when he blushed scarlet and looked away quickly, playing with the leather bag he kept at his side. 

“Have you been to York City before, Ben? Before the war I would assume.” André asked and Ben couldn’t help but grin at the play for any information. André would always be a spy first, no matter if he was good at it or not. 

“I assure you, it’s been quite some time. It’s probably nothing like how I remembered it.” He muttered as he absentmindedly thought back to the reports of Abraham's described the city in passing and André smiled joyfully, ignorant to his thoughts. 

“Oh, it is grand. I am sure that it has changed much. I’m sure that you will be given the freedom to come with me to explore the city with me. “ André said happily, looking away when Ben glanced back at him sharply. What was this man playing at? 

Ben opened his mouth to retort shortly but they both stopped when they heard the slamming of hooves not far ahead of them. They shared a quick look as they turned on a bend and saw one man on horseback riding towards them quickly. A closer look showed that he wore the blue coat of Continental soldiers and Ben could hear André pull in a deep breath. 

As they got closer the man began to slow down to a stop and they both followed his lead. The man, a older man with greying hair in a plait, took them both in silently before he spoke. 

“We are looking for red coats that are fleeing out of the city, have you men seen any by any chance?” He asked suspiciously and André threw a sharp glance in Ben's direction. 

Let me talk to him. 

“You are the first that we have met on this road, right Samuel?” André said with a convincing smile and Ben gulped as they both turned their attention to him. 

Ben nodded once and tried to smile as convincingly at the man as André had but he still took the both of them in with eyes clouded with suspicion. Ben felt like his heart could possibly beat out of his chest as André began to try and explain to the man that they both had family in a town not far from where they were at the moment. 

Ben felt trapped between his sense of duty and his instincts. On one hand he could warn this man of who André was, get away but on the other he could go with André and continue with his plan of collecting valuable information in the small leather book Abigail had pressed into his hand before they left. He bit his lip once again to keep any words back as he watched the two men speak back and forth for just a moment longer. 

His heart hurt painfully as they both watched the man ride away again. André glanced over at him once and they did not speak again as they rode down the road.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You all we be happy to know that I'm going to be trying to go canon with this story from here on out. It was a pretty good place to start at so hopefully it goes smoothly. 
> 
> Feed a poor girl with one comment a chapter. She's been cursed. Comments are the only thing to feed her with.


	18. 18.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A spy always catches another spy at some point.

He stared up at the large, grey house in the middle of York City and worried at his bottom lip with his teeth.

It was completely different from the house in Philadelphia, but the purpose of it was quite the same. He had just traded one prison in for another.

Ben knew that André was staring at him, but he did not return the regard, afraid of what he would see if he looks at the other man’s expression. He felt André press a hand to the small of his back to lead him towards the front door. He bit his tongue around a sharp remark and instead held his leather bag closer to his side as if someone will come along the street tear it from his hold at any moment.

André let go of him as they walked up the steps and walked right through the doorway with Ben on his heels. Ben smiled almost happily when he looked around and saw Abigail weaving through the hallways of the new house as she worked quickly. She was the one of the only familiarities in such a new place.

He ignored André purposely and could hear the man scoff moodily at his dismissal of him from behind when he walked towards Abigail.

_Let him come to you. Let him come to you. Let him come to you._

Her smile was wide when she saw him and he didn’t care for proper etiquette as he wrapped his arms around her in a hug. He was happy that she was here, but he suspected it was not just to keep an eye on him. He hoped silently that she had somehow told his friends that he is not hanging from the gallows as a spy. At least not quite yet.

“I heard that-” He began as he pulled away but stopped himself when he saw a boy peak around the corner of the doorway.

Ben mustered a warm smile and held out a hand to the boy. “You must be Cicero.” The child glanced at his mother before he shook his hand at her nod of approval.

Ben smiled in amusement as he pulled away. “It's nice to meet you, I'm Benjamin Tallmadge.”

It was Cicero’s turn to smile. “Why, I know that, sir.”

Abigail shot her son a look and laid a hand on Ben's elbow, grabbing his attention. “I was just about to go into the kitchen, you can come if you like? Inform me of your journey here?” Abigail asked and Ben nodded to the invitation.

“Be good.” She warned her son and disappeared down the hall and around the corner with Ben behind her.

×

“I am sorry, Ben.” Abigail apologized as he ran a hand through his hair in irritation at his situation.

“They know that you still live, but now that André has brought you to York City there is little chance of anyone being able to get into the city with all of the checkpoints.”

Ben smiled tiredly at her and shook his head. “It is not you that I am angry with. It is just myself, I wish I could have thought of a plan of escape before we were to leave Philadelphia.”

Abigail squeezed his shoulder in a show of comfort. “It has been a hard time for all, I would not blame you for your lack of plan.” She paused a moment, looking for a peeking Cicero or some other before she continued in a low whisper. “But André has taken a liking to you in the time that you have spent with him, it is visible to anyone that pays a moment of attention. That will be your protection till you are able to find your way back to your army with all the secrets you can hold in your bag.”

Ben took comfort in her words and did not try to deny what she called the obvious.

There was no time for embarrassment in war. That was something that  ** _he_** would need to learn.

“Thank you, Abigail.” He muttered with a smile and she returned it for a moment before pulling her hand back from his shoulder.

“I only speak what is true, Major. Don't take the opportunity for granted.”

×

Benjamin wanted to argue against Abigail’s comment of André's character but kept his mouth closed. Abigail did not need to hear of protection of John André’s character from his glorified prisoner.

The knocking of the door saved them from a larger argument and they all looked up in surprise before Abigail placed the letters back in the cabinet and stalked over to the door, muttering about Cicero.

Ben looked around the corner to see who was at the door and couldn't help it when his face twisted up. Simcoe was smiling in the doorway.

Abigail took a small step back but the man only continued to smile, asking for the whereabouts of André.

Abigail finally open the door wider to allow Simcoe entry and he must of just caught sight of Ben around the corner because his eyes lit up and he opened his mouth to utter what would probably be a rude joke at Ben’s expense.

However, André saved him by walking through the door just behind Simcoe. Now once again in a immaculate red coat, he once again looked like the John André that Ben was use to. Ben clamped down quickly on the thoughts that tried to come forth.

André handed his things to Abigail and glanced up at Ben once before inviting Simcoe farther into the house. His lips curled up but he disappeared around the corner as Simcoe and André entered.

He gripped Cicero’s shoulder and shooed him away to his mother as he pressed himself up against the wall to listen closely. He listened closely to the conversation for anything of use that he could pass on to Abigail. André's bored and moody tone distracted him for a moment and he almost missed the mentioning of a Samuel Culper.

He stood up straight and his ear ached from how hard he pressed it up against the wall.

_How did he..._

“We found the name briefly in the notes that were retrieved from Benjamin Tallmadge with his capture. “ André informed Simcoe and Ben’s temper flared up. He tried to reel it in before he revealed himself to just try and get at André.

“Why, it seems that the man can be of more use than just as a bed warmer.” Simcoe drawled and Ben pulled in a breath of rage when André did not deny the accusation, much to what was probably Simcoe’s delight. 

He instead listen closely as André gaved Simcoe his assignment, committing every piece to memory. He could fix his mistake quickly if he could get a warning to Abe…

“It could be alias.” Ben took in a deep breath as he listened closely.  _Oh god..._

“A false name to try and hide his true identity. “ Simcoe theorized and André was silent for a moment as he seemed to think it over.Ben wanted to do nothing more then peek around the corner.

“That is for you to find out, I suppose. I will stay here and continue to interrogate our prisoner as much as possible.” André finally said, a note of wonder in his tone as he thought over the idea.

“Oh, I am sure that you with do just that.” Simcoe said in amusement that André didn't seem to catch as they both stood up.

Ben ducked back into the sitting room before the two men could see him spying in the hall.

There were muttered goodbyes before the door finally shut behind Simcoe and Ben took off for the stairs.

André firmly grabbed his wrist at the last moment and twisted him around so quickly that he gave the younger man whiplash as he looked up at him in surprise. The shock of the skin on skin contact surprises him for a moment and he is too bewildered to pull against his hold.

"Release me." Ben said heatedly, nervousness beginning in the depths of his stomach as he tugged on his wrist. He huffed pathetically when André crowded him up against the wall by the stairs, caging his body with his own.

"But you don't want me to, do you? Oh, how much better you think yourself to be." André said, flipping a blonde strand of hair that had fallen in the way behind his ear.

Ben turned his head away from even the lightest of touches from the man. “How dare you.”

“Forever a spy, aren't you, Tallmadge?” Ben scoffed, as if outraged at the idea.

“I don't know what you are talking about, you insane man.”

André laughed at him and firmly gripped Ben’s chin to turn his face towards him. “A liar too. Is that not some kind of sin? What kind of man of God are you, Ben?” He muttered and Ben had a fleeting thought about headbutting him but he didn't want the extra headache.

“Was what he said true?” André asked and Ben stared at him defiantly.

“I have no idea what you mean but if you are referring to Simcoe, I doubt much of what he says has any grain of truth.”

André began to lose his composure as he shook Ben hard by his shoulders, not appreciative of the lie. “You think that I joke? You think me stupid enough to believe that the Head of Intelligence for Washington wouldn’t know anything about his own spies?” André asked and Ben did not answer as he stared at the man in surprise.

“I am sorry.” He made his voice quiver as if on the verge of tears. “I don't know anything. I've been gone so long that I don't know what is old or new news. I’m not sure what they have done in the wake of my...absence.”

It held a grain of truth at least.

André released him as if burned before he placed a gentle hand to his cheek that Ben did not shake off and stared into his eyes. Most likely looking for a lie that he would not discover in the blue depths.

“I didn't mean to be so careless with you, Ben.” He muttered and for a moment Ben couldn't help but press his cheek against the warm hand.

What had he read once?  _When one lacks contact for so long, the first of any is always the most welcome._

“It is okay, I understand.” Ben smiled kindly at the taller man, not sure at this point what part of his act was actually that, an act.

His mind went back to André's question moments before. What kind of man of God was he?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello? Anyone still out there? I'm super sorry this took so long but it's here now!
> 
> I hope that you all like this chapter. I worked pretty hard on it. Your opinion in the comments would be much appreciated. 
> 
> I'd also like to thank hapless-and -hopeless for being like, the best beta. This chapters wouldn't even be that good if she didn't look over them for me. 
> 
> Until next time!


	19. 19.

The lack of John André at the breakfast table the next morning made Ben’s eyebrows raise in question at Abigail until he heard heavy, familiar footfall behind him. When Ben looked over his shoulder he saw that André was adorned in his shiny, red coat and instead of curling his lips into a grimace he smiled in a mimic of happiness at the British Major. 

“No breakfast?” Ben inquiried curiously as he sat down at the table, catching Abigail’s eye as she went back around the corner into the kitchen. 

“No.” André admitted. “I have a meeting at the Royal Gazette.” 

Ben glanced up at him and André smiled almost sarcastically. It was a whim, to believe a spy would reveal much to another spy. 

“Well,” He paused, as if thinking before he stood up and turned around to stand in front of André. “Do be careful. I heard that Rivington is quite a gossip.” He said playfully, before he leaned up to tie the strings of the cloak over André's shoulders with skilled fingers.

André studied him closely for a moment while they were in close proximity and he could feel his cheeks heat up almost painfully obviously as André’s hand ghost across his cheek in an almost temporary show of goodbye. 

André smiled, as if happy with the response, before he took a step back. 

“He won't hear anything from me, Benjamin.”

He watched André until he disappeared behind the front door with a soft smile in his direction. He sat back at the table when Abigail came back in with breakfast and wondered if André was playing a game of his own. 

×•×

He did not speak much like a soldier, Robert thought curiously as he sat across from the man in red.

Robert watched as he glanced down at a open journal in front of him and he couldn't help the wandering of his eyes when he followed the other man’s gaze. His eyebrows furrowed slightly in wonder as he saw a smiling man looking back at him from the page. Robert glanced up quickly and smiled before the redcoat could notice where his gaze had wondered. He wouldn't be of much use if he got caught snooping at all times. 

The door closed behind a nicely dressed woman and Robert watched the curious man glance over his shoulder when she was announced. 

Philomena Cheer. 

Her exaggerated dresses and dramatic speech did not reel in his attention as she intended it to but it seemed to have the opposite effect on the soldier. Robert raised an eyebrow as he watched the man listen in, quite obviously. 

“I fear I am keeping you from a more engaging conversation.” Robert drawled, almost sarcastically and the man turned back and looked down at the table sadly. Robert glanced at the man's cup. Alcohol seemed to do that to a man. 

“That is not a conversation I wish to have now.” Robert watched closely as he paused and looked down at the leather book for another moment. “Or ever.” 

“A requirement...of more willful pursuits? “ 

That brought a amused smirk. “You could say something like that,” he said and laid his cup back down on the table. 

“I forgot to ask you name.” 

“Robert Townsend, at your service,” he said absentmindedly as he took a drink.

“Major John André at yours.” 

 

×•×

The front door closed loudly, still making Ben jump in a fright at the noise. His feet were to the cold floor in a moment but he heard André’s familiar boots clicked up the stairs and he sighed in relief as he sits on the edge of the bed. At least it wasn't Simcoe or another vengeful redcoat coming to slit his throat at night. 

Ben expects to hear André’s boots click past his door then the soft click of his bedroom door as he went to sleep for the night. However, he jumped up in surprise when he heard a soft tap at his bedroom door. (Maybe split into two? The sentence is a bit long otherwise, and it adds more impact

Ben found that his lack of dress no longer much embarrassed him in front of André so he calmly stood up and walked towards the door. The click as it opened sounded like a gunshot in the quiet room and he raised an eyebrow at the redcoat standing outside his room. 

“Are you okay, André?” Ben asked, opening the door a bit wider as he leaned against the door frame in front of the taller man. 

“I-” He started and Ben reached a hand out to steady him as he stumbled a bit. “I just needed to speak to you about something.” 

“It couldn't have waited till morning?” Ben laughed as their eyes met. The look on André's face made his teeth click shut. 

André rested a hand on his hip and it help like a burning iron. He could not breathe. He opened his mouth to take in a sharp breath but quickly disciplined himself into silence. 

What was he doing?

Ben’s bottom lip quivered pathetically as he tried to work through the confusion of his situation. André’s hand moved up and his thumb pressed against his lower lip. His touch both consoled and devastated Ben at once and he took in a deep gulp of breath that made his head swim. 

“I cannot make you change side, can I Benjamin?” André whispered, taking a step into the room and closing the door behind him. Ben bit his lip as he watched it click shut. 

Is this where you kill me? 

“No,” he answered simply and André smiled sadly at him as his hand ran up and down Ben’s cheek. 

“You would have made a good spy to the King.” André acknowledged and it was Ben’s turn to smile sadly. 

“That’s a lie.” 

“What is a spy, if not just a glorified liar?” André asked rhetorically and pushed him down on the bed. 

Ben looked up at him from under his eyelashes and came to a conclusion. With a cry he threw himself forward into André's arms and in a few moments told him every one of his secrets. 

 

×•× 

The candle flickered dangerously low but his quill did not stop its journey across Robert’s page. 

It made sense. He had never met the man Benjamin Tallmadge but he had heard of what happened to him. 

Captured, taken prisoner, somewhere under the eye of one Major John André. Unable to be rescued. 

Robert blinked tiredly as he folded the letter before dripping hot candle wax to seal it shut. 

He already knew that his companions would be glad to hear anything on the subject of their fellow spy. 

×•×

He stared into the mirror at his shoulder. The bruise in the shape of a hand was vivid and new and he couldn't help himself when he pressed a hand to the tender spot. 

Ben glanced over his shoulder at him, asleep in the bed as if he had always been there. He pressed harder against the bruise until the skin around it turned white and he could remember the feeling of a phantom hand pulling him closer. Then it was all hands and skin and teeth and tongue. The print felt like a sign of his shame, like an obvious blush or lack of eye contact when speaking to another. 

He looked back towards the mirror and opened his mouth as if to offer himself condolences. A heavy sorrow caught him then and he slammed his teeth shut, biting his lip till he tasted blood, to ward away a scream perhaps.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I really hope this is like, your guy's favorite part because I think I went over it a few billion times. 
> 
> You can obviously thank Thira and hapless-and-hopeless for helping me figure out all the kinks in this chapter. It wouldn't be as good as I hope it is without them. 
> 
> Let me know in the comments what you think! I really appreciate it.


	20. 20.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> André makes a proposition.

“The taxes were not even bothersome to the people! It was as if it was just a fight to have a fight!” 

“That wasn't the point.” Ben snapped, turning in the chair of the small vanity to face the man on the bed in one quick move that gave him a case of whiplash. 

“We have no one in Parliament! Most that make these laws and acts and rules have not even set foot in the colonies! That is the point. I don't even understand how this argument started.” He argued with the British officer, as he angrily braided his hair back with clumsy fingers. 

It was silent for a moment so Ben turned again to look at André to see what he was doing, who was just smirking in amusement. 

“You've debated a lot, haven't you?” 

Ben blushed and stood up to button his shirt. “In college, some.” 

“It shows.” André teased, throwing his legs over the side of the bed to stand up. Ben couldn't help the blush that gave him away when he glanced at his nude figure as he turned. He found it utter madness how one ruleless night changed everything else for the future. 

André saw him glance away from his body and laughed before he pulled on a pair of pants to console him. Ben did not move as André stepped closer, just raised an eyebrow in amusement, but let out a yelp of outrage when André pressed a hand to the small of his back and tugged him closer. 

“John André!” 

He laughed and ran a quick hand down Ben’s cheek before he cradled his jaw as if he was a delicate creature he had never set eyes on before. Ben bit his lip as André pressed chaste kiss across his nose and cheeks,. He hadn't the energy to admonish him. 

André finally stopped with a kiss to the skin below his ear before breathing in. His touch felt like an burning iron to Ben. He could not breath, could not speak. 

John 

A terrible ache began in his chest and spread throughout his body like bad blood that felt similar to betrayal and sin. Ben pressed harder against André’s body. He wondered if the other man could taste the conflict of his innermost self on his skin. He wondered if he cared. 

“My caged bird.” André whispered, moving down his jaw with chaste kisses. “So pretty but so sad.” 

Ben blinked but André did not say anything further before he pulled away to look into Ben’s eyes, thinking about something. André pressed strong hands to his shoulders and Ben remembered for a quick moment what they had felt like pressed to his waist before. 

“What is it?” 

André stared at him, seeming to come to a conclusion. “I have to tell you something.” 

×•× 

“What?” 

“I want to get you back to your camp, this is the only way I can think how.” André said simply and Ben blinked at him as if he had truly gone insane in such a short period. 

“You are speaking madness. It can’t be done without the death of the both of us by hanging.” 

André laughed for a moment, forgetting himself. “You would rather stay, and wait for Simcoe?” 

Ben shuddered as he pictured the despicable man. “You can't just let a prisoner of war go because you took them to bed, John.” Ben explained as if the other man was as simple minded as he seemed at the moment.   
“I cannot keep you here any longer, it does not feel right to me. And I know what would happen to you if you were to go elsewhere while in capture.” André said simply and Ben started again, this time in suspension. 

“You would just let me go? How does it help you?” He asked defensively, squinting at André, waiting for him to laugh. To tell him that this was just a twisted joke. 

“Yes. It only helps my conscience but that is enough for me.” André smiled at him and moved closer. “But it won't be easy, it will be hard to convince. There is a man inside one of your camps, someone that no one would even suspect. If I could get anonymous information to your General, or a superior, we could swap you for him. A prisoners exchange. A spy for a spy.” 

Ben’s eyes were wide as he spoke again. “You would betray your king and men? Why?” 

André laughed at this and stared him straight in the eye. “I don't know how, but I am sure that I've begun to fall in love with you, Benjamin Tallmadge.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, it's not my longest chapter ever but there is a big change in it so I think that makes up for the shortness a bit. 
> 
> I told hapless-and-hopeless that Ben was just going to get more dramatic as the chapters go on so you guys have to let me know if I'm doing it. XD 
> 
> So let me know what you thought in the comments! Kudos are also appreciated!


	21. 21.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The first I love you's and the problems that follow.

He stared at André for a moment before he roughly dragged his wrist away with an angry scoff of disbelief and casted his cornflower blue eyes away. He already missed the touch of André after a few short seconds and he curses his weakness that he had developed seemingly without his knowledge or consent. He also thinks that maybe this will be the closest he will ever come to loving him.

“You are truly mad.” He choked out and closed his eyes so that he no longer had to meet the burning gaze of the man staring down at him, but the now silent man is still vividly painted behind his lids.

They had both come to know each other too well in their shared time. He can almost see the lift of his eyebrows in amusement at his childish displays.

“Maybe so.” André laughed but he could not hear the humor in it. “But I speak the truth. Some may say you have worked your way into my bed, but you have also found your way into my graces, against my will of course.” André grabbed him by the arms once again but has no intention of letting him go anywhere this time. At least not until he heard him out. Heard the truth that he had been so bitterly keeping close to his chest. For how long, he could not even recall.

“I will miss your company so greatly, that I am not sure that I will even be able to bear it. I have come to accept your presence as a friend and not as the prisoner that I should see you as.” André revealed to him in one long breath as if he would disappear into thin air if he spoke about it.

His lip wobbled and André worried for a moment that he had offended the smaller man until he felt his slender fingers grip at his back. I wish that I could forget you and everything that you have done me.  _What have you done to me?_   _Condemned me to certain hell for our sin?_  Ben tried to convey in this sentiment through his tight grasp.

“But God I love you.” André gasped against his neck. “And I can not bare keeping you here any longer against your will.”

He cursed himself as he wrapped his arms around the neck of his enemy and moved closer. Close enough that they breathing mingled together until they were breathing each other's air.

“What a horrible preacher's son I am.” He laughed, almost bitterly, but André joined him as he wrapped his arms around his waist and nuzzled against his neck.

Ben listened to the  _click, click, click_ of the large clock downstairs and he didn't let go once it hit 12.

×•×

He plans and plans and plans out almost every little detail with André in the coming days but in the end the whole plan is foiled by one little slip of paper delivered to André in a hurry by a nameless young man.

He is seated in the sitting room when he sees André storm past and he knows instantly and without a second thought that something had happened.

He follows the footsteps down the hall until he is standing in front of André, whose eyes are cast down to the wooden desk covered in letters and papers.

“What happened?” He asked evenly and this is when André looks up at him.

“I'm sorry, our inside man was killed, I can't let you go yet.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Phew, I hope you guys like this one. I'm not sure how much more dramatic I can get. I'll sure try though. ;) 
> 
> As usual, comments that contain your opinions feed my creativity and I appreciate them as well. It's like getting a pay check.


	22. twenty-two

He laughed and he laughed and he laughed until he felt tears falling down his cheeks and he then understood that he had been crying. They fell down his cheeks in a wet path and hit his lips with the taste of failure.

André stared at him in surprise before taking a step forward to try and console him maybe but it only caused him to jump back and out of the way of André's grasp.

He had not realized how highly he had gotten his hopes up until the whole plan had been destroyed with the shooting of one man. He had wanted to go back to camp, see his friends, go back to his job, he even wanted to see General Washington, his fierce temper that he often turned on him be damned.

But then he stared at a tight lipped John André and imagined how much he would miss the man in front of him if he were to leave.

“Am I a terribly selfish man?” He asked and André smiled at him bitterly from across the room as if he knew what he was talked about.

“Many would say terribly so. But when has it ever been common in human nature to do something they know will hurt?”

×•×

André left him alone in his room after that, presumably to do work that he most likely would not or could not talk about but he did not think about it.

The whole house was silent, he couldn't even hear Abigail's nervous pacing underneath his feet as she went about her work. He is not sure if he is grateful for the quiet to help him think or if he missed the distracting noise terribly.

He has no Bible, André is a man of logic and science instead of religion and faith, but he can already remember the prays taught to him by his father as a young boy.

He grasped at the memory of them and brought them to the surface. His breathing is even and calm and the only sound that he can hear.

_Forgive me my sin, O Lord;_

_forgive me the sins of my youth_   _and the sins of mine age_ ,

_the sins of my soul and the sins of my body, my secret and my whispering sins,_

_the sins I have done to please myself and the sins I have done to please others._

_Forgive those sins which I know, and the sins which I know not; forgive them,_

_O Lord, forgive then all of Thy great goodness._

_Amen_

He looked up and André stood in the doorway directly in front of him.

He isn't sure how he did not hear him coming. André closed the door softly then and backed him into a corner of the room without a word.

He knew that he had heard him. He opened his mouth to complain, to cut him with sharp words but André's blue eyes looked him up and down and his mouth is suddenly dry.

A hand moved down his thighs and he jumped to the tips of his toes with a gasp that made André laugh.

He tried to push away, to move as close as he can get to the wall, but this somehow turned into him pushing forward into André's hands. Their closeness still made him squirm.

“ _Do you regret me_?” André asked and his turned my eyes up to the ceiling.

André tightened his grasp at his refusal to speak and he met his eyes with a breathless gasp, throwing his hands out to grip his shoulders so he would not slide down the wall.

He stifled a moan and moved against André as if to get away, as if he could ever find a way how, before he gave in.

“ _No_.”

×•×

“ _Ms.Shippen_?” He asked, staring up at André in confusion. “I know of her, but not greatly. I certainly do not see her and Arnold as a partially compatible match but I will not object to it.”

André grabbed the letter from his hands again, all wide eyed and large smiles and he shared a quick glance with Abigail who stood in the doorway, just as confused.

“It is not that Benjamin, it is a code.” André exclaimed and he scowled in spite of the other man's excitement.

“Not a very obvious one then.” He muttered as André leaned down to show him the letter again. André's warm breath hit his cheek as he quickly looked over the letter but he tried to ignore it in favor of looking where André pointed towards.

“She says here, a man of exceptional character.” André pointed and he nodded along.

“That was the code. Arnold wishes to talk.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> No, no, I'm not dead. Here I am! 
> 
> Well, it took long enough so hopefully this chapter isn't that bad. I kind of just threw the last little part in there to lengthen it up. 
> 
> Do you guys think Ben is going to be like, wtf, Arnold would never do that, what are you talking about? Or oh yeah, that kind of makes sense? 
> 
> There should be a chapter, hopefully next, in Andre's POV. We need to hear from him after all these new developments. XD


	23. twenty-three

“Impossible.” He said simply and handed the letter back to a blinking André. 

 

“He is one of the most loyal men I could think of in regards to the Continental Army. It is just not something he would do. He almost gave his leg to the war.” He supplied when he noticed André’s look of disbelief. 

 

“I am sure he is at his most loyal when there is a handsome fee behind the deed to be done. I know what I speak of Benjamin.” 

 

He blinked up at André angrily. How dare he speak about Arnold in such a way. He spoke as if he knew the man inside and out.

“And you are the expert on Benedict Arnold or just a jealous man? It is a letter filled with dribble-drabble from a woman to be married, not a spy recruiter.” He snapped as he moved to his feet. André threw his head back and laughed at him as if he was an ignorant child. His cheeks colored red quickly and he stomped past a wide eyed Abigail and towards the stairs.  

 

“I do not believe every word you utter like your pretty women, John André.” He called back over his shoulder before he disappeared up the stairs into his bedroom. 

 

×•× 

 

André finally angrily grab my jacket and throw it over my shoulders as I walk down the stairs of the house and into the night. 

 

The walk to the inn is quick and for this I am grateful. I could barely stay in the same house with the naïve fool that it held just down the hall from me! Always ready to see the good in all men, even if it is an act as see through and barely constructed as a smoke wall. Only if they were loyal to his cause and beliefs of course. 

 

I nod politely once I enter the building and take a seat as far back in the corner as I can get. It is noisy but it is a noise that I can deal with, one that will not drive me mad as I sit contemplating in the dark. 

 

I draw quickly in the journal that I have brought with me and shapes are just beginning to make their way into a familiar face when the chair across from me is suddenly occupied. 

 

Philomena? Who else? It’s all I can do to return polite conversation but I can not help the grim expression that appears on my face as she begins to speak to me. She picks me apart quicker then I would like to admit. 

 

“Imagine that.” Philomena says, as if she had just found out a not so surprising secret. “A woman stealing John André's well guarded heart. “ 

 

I roll my eyes up towards the ceiling and almost laugh before I catch myself. She, however, catches something on my face but I am forever grateful that she does not comment further on it. Let her believe whatever she is going to believe. 

 

She leans forward in her seat and I can see what she is doing from miles away when she offers me a beguiling smile that had weakened lesser men. I think about it for only a moment, maybe to anger Benjamin further  than he already is at me before I pull away from her with a shake of my head. She is not worth how far I have come to gain what little I have of Benjamin’s trust. No matter how irritating he is to me from time to time. 

 

I step away from the table with a polite excuse me and leave Philomena to walk towards the counter, to who I recognize as Robert Townsend. 

 

“Something stronger, I think. Feel free to join me.” I say as I lean up against the counter, handing my cup to the other man. 

 

He is an oddity that I do not try to understand as he fixes me with a knowing stare. “I think I will stick to my coffee.” 

 

“I wish I had your forbearance.” I say tiredly and I think that this amuses him as he smirked down at the cup he is cleaning.  

 

“I have a weakness or two” 

 

I do not say anything for a minute as I think back to the stubborn, light haired man back at the house. The enemy, the prisoner I have somehow come to admire, maybe even love with his light blue eyes and his rare, beguiling smiles that happen when he is only truly happy or amused. I think back to the occasions that smile was trained on me and I close my eyes. 

 

“Hopefully one is not love.” 

 

×•× 

 

I stomped up the stairs the next day, leaving a surprised Abigail where I had met her at the door. 

 

Benjamin looked up in irritation from the desk in the corner of the room when I entered without knocking but I went on. 

 

“What-” Benjamin began but I silenced him when I threw a letter down in front of him. 

 

“Is that proof enough for you, Benjamin?  

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was just kind of a filler chapter but I wanted to post something. I will try and post a better chapter next time. 
> 
> Anyway! I'd still love to know what you think! Until next time. 
> 
> Xx


	24. twenty-four

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which we see that love is truly blinding.

Benjamin’s shocked expression as he read the letter was enough to give André pause and he took a step back as Benjamin read on farther before rereading just to be sure. 

He is silent for a long moment and André thinks for a moment that maybe he is angry at him, for bringing him the letter instead of leaving him with the thought that all his fellow officers under Washington are without faults. It is what he expects but it does not come as another moment goes by. Ben just looks devastated, he begins to open his mouth to say something but André just shakes his head. 

“You aren't going to let me go, are you?” Ben asks after a long moment and André stares down at him sadly. He wets his lips, he does not know what to say. His silver tongue rarely worked on Benjamin Tallmadge anyway. 

“It’s just a little longer, Benjamin.” André says finally and Ben turns his face away, smiling bitterly. “I'm still working on a possible escape for you.” 

Ben jerks away as if burned when André runs a hand across the back of his neck. André purses his lips and looks down at the other man when he stands up from the chair and faces him. He wants to tell him that he is not the one to blame. He was not the one that started this war. He cares for him, that he would never want to hurt him. 

But isn't he? 

He shakes his head at himself and moves back towards Ben, pressing a palm to each of the other man’s cheeks as he tries to keep him from lashing out at him. “I am.” He tries to sound convincing and Ben just smiles sadly at him again before nodding in his palms. 

Ben curls his lips momentarily and looks down at the letter he had placed on the table a few moments before. 

“Why are you here then, showing your enemy a letter of such importance?” 

André stares at him for a moment, just taking in his features. Startlingly young, his dark blonde hair that have lengthened in his months with him lay messily across his cheeks as he stares daringly back at André. 

He presses a hand to Benjamin’s neck again and he does not flinch back again but stays completely still as he looks at André with the same rebellious expression that André can remember from months before when he would barely throw words back at him. 

“I just wanted to know if you would reveal anything that may help me?” He does not say what he truly wants to, he finds that he never really does around Benjamin but the younger man gives no real indication that he sees this and just laughs for a moment before lightly pushing him back. 

“I think that is your job, Major, I am just the captive, you know.” 

André could not tell if he is just joking or not. 

×•×

Ben watched as the door closed behind André and the smile dropped from his face.

What a careless move, to show him the letter from Arnold. André was a smart man but just another that underestimated him. He felt a small ping in his chest as he got to work but he would not take André's mistake for granite. He tried to stick to the idea that André did not truly care for him as a lover should but he was quickly becoming unsure. 

He had no used any codes for months but as he quickly scribbled his information down it all came back to him as if he was just reading over a letter from Abe in his tent. 

In just moments everything he had read from the letter was paraphrased down on the document. It pained him not to but he did not mention Arnold's identity, André would figure out who had gotten the information to the other side the moment he found out Arnold was arrested. 

Once the sheet was folded as small as possible he slipped out of his room, down the hallway and silently down to the kitchen where he knew that he would find Abigail. 

He slipped the paper to her silently and met her eyes when she looked up at him. 

“It is of grave importance that you get this to Robert Townsend.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I feel like it's been so long that you guys have probably all grown and have grandkids or something now. 
> 
> This has been sitting in my Google Docs for like a month, half finished, and after like 2 breaks and multiple weekends I just thought I'd grace everyone with my presences. This isn't even edited, so all the terrible mistakes are my own, I just really wanted to post it so it was done literally like 5 minutes ago.
> 
> So heyyy
> 
> Ben was totally not going to lose his edge, but wow, love sure is blinding André. I do think Ben is feeling some sort of emotion for André though, you can only act like you hate or love someone for so long till you begin to feel something positive towards them. And Ben isn't that bad of an actor. Let me know what you're thinking in the comment section below. I'm always up for thoughts and suggestions.


	25. twenty-five

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just so you know before you start, there has been a minor time jump because everything i wrote while staying with the timeline just came out boring and sounding like 3 chapters of fillers.

André tells me he is in love with me the same night I betray what little trust he has given me during the past months. Months? I think to myself later as I lay on the bed. A year? Years? Decades? The time seems to have all run together on a long string like decorative beads on a necklace and I'm not sure I will ever be able to forget my time as a captive under André. It will haunt the back of my mind even when I am old, even when I may have no memory of the simplest of things, of this I am sure.    
   
He whispers it in my ear while he is above me as we are entangled together with hatred and something akin to love or affection on the bed one night. His warm hand runs up my side, bumping along each of my ribs and I’m not even sure if he knows he said it out loud. His foolishness makes me want to stab him in the back to show him what I am capable of, to roll him over onto the other side of the bed for Abigail to find in the morning with a short scream. To sleep with the taste of blood on my tongue even when I wake, well rested for my death sentence that my crime would bring forth. I don't, I can't, and the words settle inside me, making themselves at home deep within my chest like some kind of terrible sickness. I'm not sure which of us is the fool, him or me? The one that keeps the spy under their thumb or the spy that stays?  
   
Major Hewlett visits André at his house that week, I see him enter from the window in my bedroom and I stand in the hallway with a hand pressed to my mouth, frightened that even my breath would be a giveaway to my spying. My eyes close as they tie Abe’s name to Culper, as more information spills out of Hewlett’s mouth. I am sure that no amount of begging, or even information I can dig up from the back of my mind, would get André to strike the name of my friend from his memory.  
   
André finds me upstairs in the bedroom after and does not even pretend to have no idea I heard their private conversation from around the corner. He presses a hand to my shoulder from behind as he explains his conversation with Clinton, his meeting with Arnold. I lean forward into the cool wood of the desk and shut my eyes, trying to block out his words. I do not understand why his words pain me so why they anger me so. It is stupid, even for the most idiotic of foot soldiers.  
   
“I will be in uniform under the disguise of a truce between me and Arnold.“ He feeds me repeated lines with the tone of a soldier and I am suddenly so furious with him, slamming a weak hand against his chest as I stand up.  
   
“You think that I will just stay put as if I am a loyal little pet?” I sneered at him, pushing on his chest again. “A wife? A good whore?” I continue on but he catches my hands before I can swing again.  
   
I want to spit my hatred at him but my tongue is too dry as I look into his eyes. What is his plan? To hang me like the spy that I am? Nathan suddenly appears in my thinking and I want to cringe away from it like a cowardly dog. What would my friend think of me now if he could see me? Most likely not half of the things that I have thought of myself.  
   
“No,” Andre says, running cold fingers down the side of my cheek. “I am going to take you with me.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Goddd, has it really been that long? Well, you could thank Ao3 for blocking me for a month but I am still so sorry even though that time came me a lot of opportunities to write. 
> 
> Like, what was that last line though? I don't even have a clue, I just wrote it and posted before I could regret the whole thing. XD I think I have a lot of planning to do though so this is where it gets superrr AU-ish, lol so bare with me. 
> 
> As always, the comments that you guys leave literally keep a girl going and make her cry happy tears when she reads them so your constructive critism and words of encouragement really do mean the world.

**Author's Note:**

> I know that it is short but I can't give the whole story to you guys in the first chapter. ;) 
> 
> I really hope you guys like, this is not a large ship so I hope it's not too bad. It gets better, I promise. I have plans, no worries. ;) 
> 
> Please comment and give kudos! I love to hear what you think or what you think is going to happen. 
> 
> Until next time.


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